Adieu and hello

There are some who'd like to give me a hard kick in the backside for saying this (read all my friends and relatives who are Delhi-haters and would like nothing better than to move down south/west but are stuck in NCR for various reasons). I had tears in my eyes after I handed over our apartment keys to the landlord and was on my way home to our Gurgaon hotel. As the movers were packing away, quite efficiently and obviously needing little or no input from me, I indulged in some reminiscing and grew all mopey thinking of the wonderful times we had in the last 3 years. Sure, there have been some lows, and I'll be the first to admit that for a non-native to live in NCR can be incredibly challenging and frustrating.

But people make all the difference and we struck pay dirt in that department. So many friends, lovely helpful people who enriched our lives immeasurably. Ads was using my phone to text one of his school friends. They promised to keep in touch through fb and skype (Aside: He asked me when he could have  a fb account - I pretended not to hear him!).

The friend texted: Friends forever.

Ads texted back: Yes. Friends forever.

The exchange has been running in my mind like a repetitive track all through the last few days.  Friends forever? I don't think so. Not when you are 7 and will in all likelihood never meet each other again. And when I was driving to the hotel, the thought again brought tears to my eyes. Lost and broken friendships, the pattern of my life and it seems, the pattern of my kids' lives as well.

My ever-unflappable and practical husband asked me to be more positive, not realizing that I just needed a day or two to collect myself and miss the good times. Soon I will be able to collect them all and store them away in memory, to be relived and smiled over again and again in the future. 

To be so sad at leaving one home, yet so happy to be entering another - aren't I lucky?? :)

Delhi goodbyes#1 - Kamla Nagar and saree shopping

The countdown to the move has begun and one of my priorities is to complete my list of Delhi to-dos, be it shopping, eating or sightseeing. I'd been toying with the idea of buying a typical saree from these parts, you know like the ones seen in Bollywood movies :) The problem really is that coming from the South, one's taste seems to be more subtle and less inclined (or very wary of) bling. It has been pretty amusing to see my Marwari and Punjabi friends cock a snook at my beautiful Paithanis, Kanthas, Pochampallis and Kanjeevarams (these are priceless heritage weaves people!!!) while lusting after net, georgette and supernet sarees which seemed excessively showy, blingy and shiny to my eyes.

But now that I am leaving, I thought I must buy atleast one of these sarees. A souvenir from Delhi must be obtained! Something typical, yet subdued enough to appeal to my taste. So some friends and I took the metro to Kamla Nagar where the shopping (and chole bhatures and panipuri) is supposed to be out of this world!

Having been to the shopping hotspots in Delhi like Lajpat Nagar, Karol Bagh and Sarojini Nagar, I wasn't expecting too much but was pleasantly surprised by how large and well-stocked the market was. We bought a lot of stuff but the main agenda was saree-shopping. The ones that I liked, my friends were doubtful about.

Hame Marwari colour dikhao, bhaiyya, was their refrain; while I pressed for more sober shades, less kundan and silver work, more brocade work and embroidery - in short, as un-Marwari as I could get!

Needless to say they preferred a bright blue and parrot green saree for me while I finally went with a heavily embroidered dark green and beige combination :)

We rounded off the day with a spot of chole-bhature (awesome!) and some freshly squeezed sugarcane juice.

A day well-spent :) Leaving you with some snaps.

 

Checking out the wares

This was the line for the chole-bhature. We waited for more than 30 minutes to attain nirvana!

More sarees

 

Dilli ki sardi and an announcement

It's been almost 3 years that we moved to Delhi-NCR and finally, the lure of the Delhi winter is fading somewhat. Partly due to the fact that we've had the coldest winter in many decades this year (Gurgaon managed a cool zero degree minimum for 2 days running), partly because I'm getting older and not getting any exercise so when the cold wind blows, it hits me right...ooh....in the spine, radiating waves of pain up down and along the sides of my back. 

So I posted my usual once-a-year fb update on how cold it was (we'd just had the coldest day in 44 years) and got the usual responses from people all over the globe. Why are you complaining? It's minus 5 here. You don't have to shovel snow. Come to Canada, its minus 15 here now.

Really, people. I don't naysay the many hardships of living in a truly cold country. But come to Delhi just for one winter. Stay in an apartment with really poor insulation, no hot running water unless you keep the geyser on all day, no central heating and non-carpet cold floors, and then tell me whether or not you're better off living in a centrally-heated and well-insulatedhome, having hot water on tap, wall-to-wall carpeting, and heated indoor public spaces.

There are days when being inside our flat is more miserable than being outside in the fresh air!

I was huddling near the room heater, wearing several woolly layers and talking to my parents on skype. They are currently in the east coast of the United States. My dad was in his shirt-sleeves and cheerfully told me - "It's minus 1 here today!"

Damn! :)

But - the silver lining. We will be moving to Bangalore in a few months. I'm still very conflicted about the decision. I love Delhi - it's food (beyond compare), it's shopping (umatched), it's history and monuments, it's parks - the list will go on and on. But Bangalore holds a very special place in my heart too. Plus I have lots of friends there, many more than in Delhi-NCR. Best of all, we will be so much closer to Chennai and the kids will get to visit with their grandparents so much more frequently. If that's not a silver lining, what is?

 

Snapshots from Diwali 2012

No crackers this year, said my son.

When I protested he exclaimed, "Amma I think you don’t care about global warming!"

When loud crackers shattered the (relative) silence of our evenings and nights, he would rush to the window and yell "Can you please stop that noise!!"

Ms. Sheila Dikshit and Delhi-NCR schools have certainly done a decent job of getting kids to promise to celebrate a cracker-free Diwali. It’s a long haul but it’s a start. Dilli ke pyare pyare bacchon, says the Delhi CM over the airwaves, patakon ke bina hi Diwali manayein.

We’ve had a unseasonably chilly and smoggy November so far, so I’m glad our family isn’t contributing to choking up the air any more. I went a little crazy buying up beeswax candles, glass votives and mud diyas for the home.
We had been cleaning and throwing out junk from the house for the last one week. Ads kept compulsively straightening the cushions and bedcovers everywhere saying that the house has to look really tidy! Never mind that his room like Hurricane Sandy had just visited :) On Diwali day, Ads made chocolate burfis (a no-cook recipe he learnt at school with crushed Marie biscuits, condensed milk and cocoa powder). I made payasam (kheer). We put up thorans and drew several rangolis.

 

A simple aarthi in our puja alcove, and visiting the few friends/neighbours  who happened to be in town over the long weekend took up the rest of the morning. The kids fell on vadai, sweets and mixture indiscriminately as though they had not been fed for weeks!
I lit a bunch of mud diyas in the evening. Here's a shot, our balcony in the forground.

We're off post-dinner to people-watch (me!) and get some second-hand cracker enjoyment (kids!) :)

Happy Deepavali, people!

Waiting for winter

I hate this transition period between seasons. Almost 6 months of huffing and puffing and labouring under the intense heat has left us all drained. The last mile is the hardest isn’t it? October with its promise of cooler weather is just around the corner, yet the thought of another few weeks of moisture and perspiration seems too much to be borne. Monsoons mean houseflies, all manner of strange insects, mosquitoes, Odomos and the ever-present parental anxiety over dengue and malaria. It means stomach infections, missing maids, throwing out leftovers without a thought, and, this year, praying for the rain that comes but infrequently.

Forgive the rant. I stayed silent all through the torrid summer, after all! I managed to get bitten by some insect and the resulting allergy has left me in agony with skin rashes. A visit to the dermatologist is urgently needed, it seems – have been putting it off for days out of sheer laziness.

Updates on the glorious weather in Bangalore by the husband are not helping! Ah well..just a few more weeks....just a few more...the early roses are already in bloom. Can't wait for my favourite seasons - autumn and winter!

Old Delhi again and the Jama Masjid

Exploring one's city as a tourist is always exciting and one of the important places that we had not yet visited in our Delhi explorations has been the Jama Masjid. Anything in Old Delhi is bound to be a challenge because Ads hates it and cannot understand why we would bother travelling on the Metro for an hour and back to traipse around in the crowds and filth. I agree - why do we???
However, the fascination that the history and architecture of the old city hold for us is not something they can be hoped to understand. So, now that the children are away, we thought we would do them a favour by visiting Jama Masjid in their absence!

With great enthusiasm, we were up at 5.30 am, on the train at 6.15 am and at our destination Metro station by 7.15. Those who have done it will agree that walking the streets of Old Delhi is quite an unforgettable experience. Narrow streets, telephone and electricity wires sagging carelessly and dangerously, houses with mysterious dark doorways and staircases, dingy hotels and lodges, dogs and pigeons, food hawkers, men selling "cool refrigerated water", and people people people everywhere. We saw two separate guys with SLRs placing their subjects in designated positions and composing their shots. One was photographing a pair of street sweepers (the human kind, not the mechanical kind) and the other one was trying to click candid shots of a street hawker.

And the, quite suddenly, we caught our first glimpse of the dome of the Jama Masjid. Built by Shahjahan between 1650 and 1656, it was yet another crowning architectural achievement for the emperor who also built the Taj Mahal, Red Fort, Agra's Moti Masjid and many other lesser known monuments.

The main facade.

The central courtyard holds upto 25000 people for prayers and one can imagine it doing so since it is simply massive!

The Red Fort as seen from Jama Masjid.

Pigeons everywhere, having a blast with the feed which is scattered all over the courtyard.

The mosque also has some relics of the Prophet Muhammad which we were unable to look at because we went too early and most of the staff hadn't yet arrived. One can go walk up the tower to the minaret and apparently the views of Delhi from there are simply fantastic. But since S could not climb those many stairs and they don't allow women to go up there alone, we could not do it. Yup -- that's the rule :( I doubt we could have been able to see much even if we had trudged up. At 8 am, the morning sun was intense and blinding!
We were back home by 9.30 am after the mandatory fried parathas and rabri ki lassi at Paranthewali Gali. So that's another one ticked off the Delhi to-do list - happy!

Back from the mountains

I'm back! In Gurgaon and 45 degree blistering sun, after almost 3 weeks away - first in Chennai and then out in the Himalayas for our very first couples vacation in almost 7 years.

This particular getaway was very hastily planned by our standards. Consider this. By May I have my vacations and long weekenders planned all the way until November - my hotel bookings are done, itineraries are planned and alas, Indian railways only allows train tickets to be booked 120 days in advance :) For an organized freak like me, leaving town on holiday at the spur of the moment is almost never done. In fact, it has never been done! So when the possibility of a work trip to Jammu came up and the husband casually suggested that he take a few days off and we go to Srinagar to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary, I said - Are you crazy? How am I supposed to plan for a holiday...like...just a month in advance??? :)

As it turned out, I learnt after making a few calls that Kashmir was out of the question since hotel rooms were not to be had for love or money, not to mention that airfares even from Delhi were prohibitive. My work trip also fell through, so I dumped the whole project back on S (Grrrr....if you had given me even an inkling that you were willing to take a holiday in June, we could have planned this so much better!). 

Help came in the form of our travel advisor, who suggested a retreat near Shimla. At first, I resisted. I have a horror of our popular Indian hill-stations - Ooty, Kodai, Yercaud, Mussoorie, Darjeeling, and yes, Shimla - without exception they are all dirty, polluted, smoggy and hopelessly crowded. However, some googling assured me that although we would be staying 10 km out of Shimla, there would be no reason for us to go anywhere near the city. There seemed to be enough for us to do both inside and outside the hotel (which is a swank Oberoi property located in a tiny hamlet called Charabra in Himachal). So we took the plunge, booked our Shatabdi tickets to Chandigarh and left for HP just a day after I landed back in Gurgaon.

First things first. I'm sorry (and a little ashamed) to admit that I had no, absolutely NO, idea that Himachal was so stunningly beautiful. Shimla as expected was horrible (we had to pass through it a couple of times and got caught in traffic jams!) but that aside, the eastern bit of the state (which is all we could cover) is just mind-bogglingly pretty. I remarked to S that if the touristy bit is so lovely, how much better would the less-frequented parts be?

We travelled to Kufri, Fagu and Chail. The Maharaja of Patiala's Palace at Chail (now a heritage hotel owned and operated by HP Tourism) has the most beautiful lawns I have ever seen, surrounded by hundreds of trees - deodar, fir, pine, oak and maple. We went to Chaba for our first time white-water rafting on the Sutlej (which flows down straight from the Mansarovar lake and is freaking cold!). I realized that our guide was making me paddle furiously when we hit even a slightly choppy patch - a fairly effective distraction strategy. Maybe my constant mutters of Oh Damn Oh Damn Oh Damn were making him nervous! I was very edgy - the raft looked pretty unstable and the water was not just cold, it was menacingly frisky!

We were caught in a freak hailstorm one afternoon which was pretty exciting :) We also managed to pack in a 7-km hike which was charmingly called the "Oaks and Orchards Trail". We went deep into the forest using a map provided to us, caught some great views of the valley below, managed to get covered extensively by spider webs, and saw the President of India's summer haven (a colonial bungalow aptly called "The Retreat"). 

For the most part though, we enjoyed each other's company. We realized that we could indeed talk for hours and not just about the kids. We enjoyed uninterruped meals and conversations, long walks, birdsong and silence. It was bliss. I missed the kids, but I did not feel guilty. They were well-cared for and happy with their grandparents and S and I really needed this time together to bond, free from caretaking duties. I don't suppose we could have given each other a better anniversary present.

So, it's back to regular programming from now on :) I can't wait to go back to Himachal again and explore more of that lovely lovely state. Leaving you with a few photographs - enjoy!

Our hotel...

The view from our room.

 

The driveway upto the hotel, fringed by deodars.

View from the outdoor dining area..

And that's me plugging away at breakfast...

The river Sutlej in the background, and our "picnic" lunch all laid out...if only all picnics were like this :)

Countdown to the summer break

The countdown to the annual summer jaunt, Chennai-side, has begun. The children are terribly excited - 4 weeks of being spoilt silly, and no mother to monitor sweet/chocolate consumption, TV-watching, hand-washing, nose-picking and dental hygiene! I am going to be around in Chennai as well, but I will be working, and whatever free time I get I'd rather hang out with the few friends I still have in that city :)

This year, we are experimenting with leaving the kids behind in Chennai for just over a week (with my parents), while I fly back to Delhi just in time for my wedding anniversary. I don't know how they will fare without me (rather well, I suspect!) and how I will manage without them (I assume I will run the gamut of emotions from happy/footloose, to bored, to terribly unhappy without my little monsters!).

The first thing Ads asks me every morning is "How many more days to go to Chennai?"

I say "14" or whatever the number is.

Ads will then ask "And how many school days?" :)

We got lucky with the weather in April - it stayed cool for the most part and we had a lot of thunderstorms. May has been more like summer - baking and HOT HOT HOT. I know summer is finally here when I have to skulk in the shade while waiting to pick up the kids from the bus-stop, when the heat presses down on me from down and above and sideways until I go light-headed with the pressure.

Here we come - from the fire into the frying pan (Delhi is way hotter than Chennai!)

I'm going to miss this

Spring is here. And a very short spring it will be, too. I'm going to miss the luxury of my daily afternoon walks. The beautiful flowers everywhere, and not just inside our apartment complex. The warm sun. The circle of drivers who bask in the afternoon sunshine everyday after lunch, sitting on the ground near their cars and playing cards. The huge bunch of aunties and uncles who seem to be a permanent fixture in the outdoor areas everyday. The kids cycling, playing tennis and running around the playground, even at 2 in the afternoon.

Sigh. If only the weather were like this all the time. Oh wait......then Delhi would be called Bangalore :)

That's a random snap, clicked as I walked :)

Flowers, flowers everywhere.

The India Art Fair

We spent a few hours at the India Art Fair yesterday. And it was wonderful. They had 3 halls, choc-a-bloc with contemporary art and we dearly wished we had more time to spend there. As it is we spent about 4 hours, which was too little. S and I split up for the most part. We took turns to watch the kids, the parent without the kids could walk around at their own pace while the one with the kids meandered around, (trying to) answer Ads' 101 questions on each exhibit. We introduced him to MF Husain, Picasso, Dali for the first time. I was thrilled to see an entire gallery devoted to Damien Hirst. I saw my first Henry Moore. S decided that Ravinder Reddy was his new favourite, while I plumped for Vivek Vilasini and Seema Kohli. 

A lovely, lovely few hours of feasting for the eyes. Some of the stuff was plain weird though. Sorry, I may be an art philistine, but I didn't 'get' Subodh Gupta at all. 

Leaving you with some pictures. Speaking of art, how wonderful is this?? Awesome, right?? I can't wait to go for one of these workshops/tours.

Next stop, Surajkund crafts mela, Feb 1-15. Already salivating :)

Ravinder Reddy.

Willie Bester (south africa) - Trojan Horse.

A thousand desires - Ravikumar Kashi.

Picasso.

Manjit Bawa.

I really like Tapas Basu.

Kids' favourite - the Infinite Depth series.

One of the Subodh Guptas.

Another one - titled - sarees, resin and wooden chairs.

Butterflies - Damien Hirst.

This one took me aback. Again a Damien Hirst.

Paresh Maity.

Another Ravinder Reddy.

The Last supper - Vivek Vilasini.

Another Michelangelo interpretation by Vilasini.

Seema Kohli.

Giving thanks

This New Years day, I gave thanks for:

1. Adventurous kids who obligingly trooped off on the 1-hr metro ride to Chandni Chowk for street food lunch, inspite of some serious jet-lag.

2. Young, affectionate aunts who pamper and play with my kids and give them a break from me! :) Two of S's cousins were visiting and the children had such a blast with them.

3. The awesome street food of Delhi which allows me to consume the entire days' calorie quota in one sitting. Steaming Bhindi parathas, flaky khurchan, super-light daulat ki chaat and spicy aloo tikkis for lunch - does it get any better than this? 

2012 - please please - may you continue to be all about good kids, wonderful family and great food!

What I love about this time of year

Winter is setting in. The sun is weak, flights and trains have been getting delayed due to the infamous Delhi fog, and the warm clothes have been aired and are all ready to be worn. My kids are very excited and keep asking me "Amma, when can we wear GLOVES?"!!!

I know people crib all the time about the winters in this part of India, but I love this season. Especially now, when it's still autumn but steadily getting colder, when the mornings and evenings are chilly but still warm enough for the kids to shrug off their jackets after a few minutes of playing outside. Delhi weather is so monumentally unpleasant for 7 months of the year, but between Diwali and Holi, I enjoy it to the hilt. Even in dreary January when most people are waiting for the cold to end, I feel only dread for the long months of burn-and-swelter that lie ahead of me :)

So. What I love about autumn/winter/spring:

1. Picnics!!! Everything that needs to be done outdoors, 'tis the season to do it. Especially picnics, which one can do in style because Delhi has so many large and well-maintained parks, scattered all over the place. The larger parks are atleast 70-80 acres in size, which means on any one excursion you would only explore a small part of it. We've set ourselves a target of a picnic every weekend - we'll see how well we do :)

2. The long-sleeved t-shirts come out and the capris/shorts/sleeveless clothes get packed away. One can revert to one's hirsute natural self :) Less grooming = more time!!

3. Stylish clothes! Stockings, jackets, pashminas, turtlenecks, stoles, leggings, boots - all these get their day in the sun. Even stodgy corporate types look nice as they leave for work wearing suits and blazers.

4. The pleasure of having a steaming cup of ginger-and-clove chai is something else during the cold season. I'm too much of a chai addict to not have several hot cups even when its a blazing 42 degrees outside, but during the winter it is pure bliss.  

5. The markets full of colourful produce - large juicy brinjals, methi, spinach, radishes, guavas, long red carrots, capsicum and fresh sweet peas which Ads and I love to pop straight into our mouths. 

6. The torture of leaving the warmth of the comforter/razaai and getting out of bed in the mornings, balanced by the exquisite anticipation of getting back into it during bedtime! The delights of snuggling into small warm bodies in the middle of the night (in the summer, it's all I can do not to throw the kids violently off me when they get too close in the bed!)

7. Having alfresco lunch everyday in a sunny balcony. Food just tastes better when the warm sun is beating down on you and there's a good book on hand. I see people already heading down during lunchtime with blankets and hampers and having an impromptu picnic on the lawns.

8. Not having to apply sunscreen - a job I hate doing and which always falls to my share. 

9. I'd say eating makki di roti and sarson ka saag except that I am not such a fan of either. Still, it will be nice to have it a couple of times.

Drat - I should have been able to make it a round 10 :)

3-day staycation

While the whole city and his mother seemed to be heading out for the long Independence day weekend, we were staying put in Gurgaon. I thought we'd take the opportunity to do a few things around Delhi that we hadn't managed to do/see yet. Those plans didn't work out but we still had a nice relaxed long weekend.

Saturday, we celebrated Raksha Bandhan. We had invited some friends over for lunch that day so I was busy cooking. I learnt the proper way to make kuzhi-paniyarams from my Chettiar friend! So, true to form, I patao-ed her into slaving over the gas-stove and making them for everybody!! I'm such a bad hostess :((
The same evening, we headed out to a nearby park for the kids to get in some playtime before dinner at Gurgaon's (only?) slow-food, organic restaurant. The food was YUM and knowing it was organic made it taste even better! I would have taken some snaps of the moong-dal chila stuffed with paneer if Ads hadn't been busy projectile-vomiting. Poor guy had a stomach bug and has been on a curd-rice diet all weekend.

On Sunday, we were meeting friends at Hauz-Khas for lunch. The kids love the Hauz-Khas deer park. It's clean, extremely green, has deer, peacock and rabbits, a duck-pond AND a children's play area. What's NOT to like???? The adults like it because it has some kick-ass restaurants, one right inside the park. I adore it most of all because of all the 13th century monuments. It's astonishing and enticing to be roaming down a shady avenue of trees, take a random turn and suddenly encounter this.

Or this,

Or this one.

Today, a rainy overcast day, will be spent indoors doing Hindi maatraas with Ads. He has a test tomorrow. Soooo boring! But a mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do.

Weekend

The weekend was busy. We were out the door by 9 am on Saturday. We split up for efficiency's sake - S with the kids to the doctor's for annual checkups and vaccinations, and me to Y's school for her Parent-teacher meeting. As you can tell, I gave him the harder job :) I had time to kill after the PTM since S was still not done with the doctor, and I had fun browsing through the huge collection of children's books on sale in the school. I don't know if this happens in other cities, but it seems to be a regular feature in many NCR schools. Outfits like Scholastic hold a day-long display and sale of books during the PTMs. In Y's school for example, a large Delhi kiddie bookstore called Eureka was selling books. Psychologically sound tactic I say. If the teacher tells me my son needs more work on his reading abilities, what are the odds I am going to come out of the meeting and grab a large pile of phonics books and early readers???!!! I'm a little wary of such stealth marketing, but that didn't prevent me from buying a bunch of books for Ads (early readers......what....he really DOES need to work on his reading!!!!) I also picked up a bunch of Hindi worksheets. Now that they have started maatraas for him, his lack of knowledge of Hindi words is showing up and at this point we are learning a whole lot of new words everyday and writing/memorizing them.

By noon, S had picked me up and we went ate a stupor-inducing buffet lunch followed by a long nap at home. On Sunday, we visited the Garden of 5 senses in Delhi - a long-overdue outing. It's near the Qutub, just a 15 min drive for us. The garden itself is very nice, very calm and peaceful; full of little steps and cobbled pathways and mazes, in addition to a solar park, a sundial, a lily pond and a chime 'tree'. I stared at the latter tree, forcefully willing it to chime but the air was so still and humid that not a tinkle could be heard :( Clearly, this is not a season for the outdoors. We were all dripping with sweat, me most of all. I kept biting my lip to avoid cribbing which is what I would have done if the kids were not with us. They were not complaining about the heat and dampness - how could I? Some people had told us that the garden was nothing great - Its just a park - that's what we were told. I think so much of what we do as adults, our prejudices and snobbishness, rubs off on our kids. Yes, basically and fundamentally it's just a park, it was nothing fanta-fabulous but if we go around saying " What the hell is this place, why have we come here, look at the lousy weather" and so on, well then we just teach our kids to do the same and NOT see the beauty in everyday things. So, although, I really really wished for some Bangalore-type weather right then, I kept my trap shut and the kids had a blast, climbing over rocks, running through the maze, playing with pebbles and leaves, spotting centipedes and disturbing the scores of cozy couples desperately seeking some privacy from nosy children! Y was most thrilled to spot a tree with lots of pink flowers and insisted on being photographed under it since she was wearing a matching pink dress!

We have bookmarked this place for autumn/winter/spring picnics. We'll definitely be visiting again.

Leaving you with some pictures of the garden.

The chimes that wouldn't!

The lily pond

View of the Qutub minar from the top of a hillock

Can you tell I am fascinated with this monument? It's so majestic!