Nothing (poem)

You were nothing really. 

Just a fuzzy dot on an ultrasound screen;  

unexpected and unwelcome 

It was too early. 

I was too young. 

I did not want your responsibility.

You were nothing really. 

A mere fragment.

Sure you existed, a collection of atoms;   

but only as a wisp, a nonentity.

Unreal but substantial

in my fevered imagination. 

You were nothing really. 

Yet I painted your face with my lips.

My nose, his eyes, 

my smile, his laughs.

I walked carefully and fearfully. 

I did not jostle you even in my dreams.  

You were nothing really. 

Some blood and fluid, that’s all.

Merely a distant longing. 

An imperceptible wish, yet you seemed 

fully formed, mentally fashioned    

into solid physicality. 

 

You were nothing really. 

You grew, but you didn’t-

that’s what they said. 

It happens, they said, more often than you know.

It’s not your fault.

Its nothing that you did.

 

You were nothing really.

Zero, chimera, delusion.  

Then why did my heart break? 

How funny that it should cry 

over something that was 

nothing, absolutely nothing, really. 

Monitoring screen time

People are constantly amazed when they hear about the minsicule screen time my kids have. These discussions invariably happen in the company of friends and neighbours who are moaning about how much TV their kids watch, how they are addicted to video games/ipad/Wii/PSP and the computer. I am constantly being told about how video games and the like will take over my kids' life real soon. Just wait till Ads/Y are a little older and they will be addicted to XYZ, I hear.
Well, I really don't think so! IMHO, I have laid a pretty strong foundation of limited screen time (especially TV) and on top of that, I can be quite the harridan of a mother. Yes, a strong word, isn't it?! There's space for only one nag in the family and I get to wear that crown in ours. I'm confident that the kids will toe my line for atleast a few more years.
I admit I am surprised (not in a nice way) about the amount of TV even toddlers watch. I had it drilled into my head ever since my early mothering days that kids under 2 should not watch any TV and kids over 2 and under 6 can watch an hour or two hours at the most. Having rigorously followed this dictum, I now find myself in the middle of a virtuous circle where Ads and Y (now aged almost 4 and 7) rarely ask for TV, having never got into the habit of sitting in front of the idiot box. Our TV is quite literally the idiot box - it stands dumb and silent most days!
What they do watch is a couple of cartoons a week (maybe half an hour of Chota Bheem). Ads is now hooked onto Animal Planet and NatGeo Wild videos (both on YouTube and TV) and he does a couple of sessions during the week on days when he has no tennis class or homework. This amounts to 2-3 hours a week at the most. He shuns the ipad and reluctantly uses it for an hour or so over the weekend, working on a math app that I have downloaded. Y is much more of an ipad aficionado. I’ve found it very useful to teach her numbers, alphabets and now some basic spelling using some of the awesome apps available. 
In consequence of such limited screen time, I find that the children have a lot of time to do other things - get out into the fresh air, run around and play, go cycling or scootering, draw, paint and craft, go for tennis and music class; also fight, make-up, cry, scream and yell as kids will! When I am working (after they get back from school, I tend to have some calls and such) and unable to give them my time or attention, I'm content that they aren't in front of the TV but doing something a lot more productive involving working with their hands or engaging with a real person instead of an animation.
Not watching TV myself has been a boon in this regard. My kids may complain that Amma spends a lot of time working on her laptop, but they never complain that I plonk myself in front of the TV! S has been trying to get Ads to watch some sports with him but he isn't very keen, so we haven't pressed him.
Ads still can't switch on or operate the TV/remote on his own and I don't bother to teach him! The first time he saw a Wii was during the summer, in Chennai at a friend's place. I'm far from being tech-hater or technophobe; I have seen first hand the learning that can happen through tech tools. In any case, learning today is far more interactive than it was two decades ago and it would be foolish to deprive our kids some of the tools that are available today. The operative word being some. 
As in everything else about parenting, decisions about screen time and technology also need to be thoughtful and reasonable. Moderation seems to have yielded good results so far. I'm sure as they grow older, they will want to watch more TV. Ads seems to have a liking already for Masterchef Australia! :)

Inspiring community action in making our little corner of the planet greener

I have long been inspired by Aparna's very successful experiments and initiatives in greening her world by composting, reusing and kitchen-gardening. As an aside, have also drooled a lot over her baked goodies! :) I just wanted to share a video that she had shared in turn, about the community initiative in Koramangala 3rd block in Bangalore, where the RWA (Resident's Welfare Association) decided to segregate their dry waste from kitchen waste. Why this is so important has also been explained in the video.

I've started doing my bit - very very recently - by segregating the dry waste from kitchen waste. The good thing is that I found that we have very little dry waste. Cardboard/paper boxes are reused for the kid's art and school projects (or simply to play with). Newspapers and printed papers are recycled to the raddiwala. Ditto for the glass and plastic dabbas that I can't reuse - they are washed well and given to the raddiwala. One-sided paper is always used for the children's artwork, or else I cut them into smaller sheets and staple them together as writing pads.

Here's the video. Thanks for sharing, Aparna. 

Newbie walker with hiccups

Drunken weaving in and out at home.

A tomato

What is she thinking - the tomato is almost as big as her face!