3 years of school - recap

3 years completed in the public school system in the US, and the kids have grown and blossomed. Well beyond my wildest expectations. When I think of the anxiety I experienced in July/August 2018, it feels almost absurd that I should have been so scared. But worrying is a parent's prerogative and burden; thank you to Ads & Y for showing me what resilience is all about and for taking the good bad and ugly in your very smooth stride. 

Reflecting on the past 3 years, some strange and some interesting happenings:

1- Y and I standing in line to pick up Advaith's laptop in middle school, the teacher mistaking Y for the incoming student (8th grade) and profusely welcoming her until I corrected her and said that Y's brother is actually joining. Y was happy that she looked taller and older!

2- A horrible afternoon on the first day of school. Ads' bus from middle school was late, and he wasn't on board! Made the driver call the school. They said he had missed the bus. Rushed to his school. Couldn't find him anywhere. In full panic mode now. Realized I was getting late for picking up Y so rushed to her bus stop. Fortunately, she was on board. Quickly dropped her home. By now, am almost in tears and at wit's end. Suddenly a phone call, Ads using some random stranger's phone. He had taken the wrong bus and also got down at some stop that he didn't recognize! Fortunately, it was not far away. Told him to stay put and jumped into the car (again!) to pick him up. All this in 100-degree heat and 90% humidity.

That same evening, marched Ads to Verizon and bought him a phone! Later on, the same kind stranger from whom Ads had borrowed the phone called to ask if everything was okay :) 

Where was S in all this? Travelling as usual!

3- Colonial Day in Y's school where I volunteered for several hours, and watching Y dance colonial dances, play the violin etc. 

4- Watching 4th grade perform a musical based on the Wright brothers 

5- Last week of 4th grade and a lovely pancake breakfast in the classroom. I volunteered and got to meet other moms and make pancakes. The homeroom teacher got sudden back pain/muscle spasms and started crying. Dramatic ending to a fun morning!

6- Y contracting the flu just a day before a much-anticipated field trip to Yorktown and Jamestown. She was so upset. 

7- Proud parents watching Ads make the honor roll in 8th grade, and getting a prize for best student in English 

8- Open houses in 8th and 9th grade, and wandering bemusedly through school corridors, wondering how my kid would ever navigate the confusing layout and crammed daily schedule! He could, and he did :) 

9- Working on the 8th-grade science fair project, and helping make Ads' charts 

10- This year, proud of Y for getting a President's Education Award Certificate for outstanding academic excellence, one of the few in 6th grade in her school. It is given to graduating elementary school students who maintain a certain high level of academic performance (in Y's case, in 5th and 6th grade) and get atleast one "Pass Advanced" in the state exams. It was totally unexpected and a lovely surprise. 

11- Being able to participate in the many wonderful events and activities planned by the school staff, teachers and the PTA, for graduating 6th graders. Car parade, a virtual promotion, a field day, a memory walk etc - truly they made it a very very special send-off. I was very skeptical of all the tamasha initially. What's the big deal, I thought? Much ado about nothing. But it is a cute rite of passage as these kids transition from carefree elementary school to becoming responsible teens. Middle school is a different ball game. No one is going to handhold you or spoonfeed you. You are accountable and responsible for your grades, cocurricular activities, and your schedule. Parents and teachers are no longer going to support you as they did in elementary. In fact, parents will rarely even know what's going on. I am glad that we got to experience this with Y. 

Here's to summer, and new experiences in middle school!

Yard signs for all 6th graders

Memory walk 

The Confidence Gap

Last year, Y's school asked for kids in her grade to self-nominate if they would like to stand for election to a few school office-bearer posts. Initially, Y showed some interest but as she got to know more about what it involved, she rapidly backed off. I tried to encourage her to stand, remembering full well my attempts at such electioneering in my school days, most of which led to thumping defeats! But all my encouragement seemed to make it worse. She simply did not want to make posters, stick them up all over the school, give speeches and generally ask for votes. I let it go, thinking that she may be more confident after a year. After all, it was her first year in a strange environment. 

Of late, I have noticed a worrying insecurity that lurks beneath her surface confidence. She will show us our assignments but balk at showing them to her brother. Ads is notoriously critical (those Virgo genes!) and does not mince words when offering feedback (he is also very mature about accepting feedback about himself or his work, recognizing that the comments are not personal but designed to help him improve). Yuks, unfortunately, does not have the maturity to accept constructive (if blunt) feedback in an unemotional, impersonal way.

Often, showing us something she has made, she will preemptively announce "It's very bad, I know" and rush off into another room while we examine her work. A few days ago, she showed me a school assignment and while I was reading it, she was crouched under the bed as though I was going to pronounce a sentence on her!

Every time, I tell her the same thing. It's your work. If you put in your best effort, it's good. Don't aim for perfection. If it is flawed, or imperfect, you need to love and respect it anyway because it's yours. Don't allow other's comments to hurt so much. Do take feedback and examine it carefully to see if it has merit, then use that feedback to improve. But ultimately, be your own judge and judge yourself kindly. 

Reading articles and books harping on this theme does not help. As much as I want my daughter to grow up to be a confident woman, I understand that modern pressures will always pull her down unless she learns how to recognize the insidious nature of her own mental blocks, and knows how to cope with them and ultimately surmount them. My alter ego, of course, is laughing heartily and sarcastically at my attempts to inject confidence into my kid when I myself am subject to imposter syndrome, performance anxiety and sundry other imaginary syndromes, disorders and maladies :))

So, still working on how to tackle this. One more parenthood challenge! Will it never end?? 

This is Us :)

It is Thanksgiving. My brother and his family are in town and we are joined for a few hours by my cousin and her husband and their grown-up kids. Stories fly around, fast and furious, some old, some I had never heard of. Family members near and distant are discussed threadbare. Peals and howls of laughter periodically punctuate the conversation. The children flit in and out of the discussion but mostly they just look bemused (in the case of the older kids, amused). Every now and then I glance at my husband, wondering whether he feels bored with all this family talk. However, I feel not a smidgen of guilt, having been a patient witness at similar gatherings of his family.

Later, in the family WhatsApp group, photos are posted. My father starts a thread reminiscing about the family home in erstwhile Madras and the many happy memories associated with it. Cousins, aunts and uncles jump in with their anecdotes about the house, sundry family members, vacations, weddings and other seminal events. 

Reading through it all, I can vicariously experience that long-gone lifestyle, a house and life teeming with extended family and friends, brimming with hospitality and generosity. Over the years, like all other families, this one too has gone through ups and downs. Its members now live far in time, distance and thought from that house in Madras, but their shared history and collective memories have woven a rich and unique tapestry that binds and cocoons generations of us, whether we are conscious of it or not.

One of my fondest childhood memories is lying down between my parents at bedtime, and drowsily listening to them talk over the days' events. For years (thanks to never having my own bedroom as long as I stayed with my parents!), I dropped off to sleep listening to the soft tones of two people recapping their day, discussing family matters and indulging in gentle gossip.

I'm in my forties, yet even now, I slide easily into the old ways. Sinking down onto the cool floor or onto the bed during afternoon siesta time, only for the pleasure of hearing my parents tell some stories. 

I think of the stories I tell my kids. About how I grew up, places, people and incidents that shaped me and made me what I am today. I think of similar stories my kids hear from their dad. I think of the stories that we laugh about amidst our close friends, the ones that have survived endless repetition. Doubtless, we'll continue to tell them well into our old age. I think of the new stories we started weaving after we became parents that are now a part of my children's memories. 

Family stories are free, portable, revealing, and inspiring. 

Stories capture the narrative arc of our lives. But more than that. They are us. And we are nothing without our stories.

Every now and then, I will sleep in Y's bedroom. Before we turn off the light, she will ask "Can we talk?" I acquiesce even if I am sleepy. She's only asking us to make more stories!

And we are done with the school year

Almost a year since we landed in the US, and a couple of days ago, we were done with the school year too. 

I remember my gut-wrenching anxiety in the months and days leading up to the start of the year. It has not been smooth sailing, but the kids have blazed through the year with aplomb, grace and confidence, making a fool of my paranoias and anxieties. I am so very proud of them and very glad to have been proved wrong once again! 

Ads got onto the honor roll two terms and received a prize for outstanding achievement in English. He has made a few friends, played a lot of cricket and recently, even started a new Science blog. Y has loved her teacher, her class and had a lot of fun the entire year. 

Ads will go to a new school (high school) in a couple of months and that will be a new experience entirely. I am sure I will have my usual anxiety attacks next year also, but fingers crossed he meets any challenges head-on with his usual quiet confidence.  

The good one

It is vacation time. We are walking to dinner. An argument breaks out on who gets to sit with me during dinner time- Ads or Yukta. It gets louder and fiercer. Finally, I decide that this time, Ads will sit with me. Yukta shrugs, walks a few paces ahead to catch up with her dad, saying " Wierd. She gave up the good one." 

#thatsmygirl #confidence #thegoodone 

A couple of days ago, I learnt that a job that I had applied for, and was hopeful of getting, had gone to someone else. The kids knew about my application and the 2-3 rounds of interviews I had had, so I told Y about it. Since I am a sucker for incorporating teachable moments, I showed her the email I had written, offering my congratulations on the new hire and offering thanks for the time they spent with me.

"You lost", she said, with the painful bluntness only kids can muster. "Are you showing.....sportsmanship" (this with a puzzled frown)

"Yes!", I said, delighted that she had got the message.

"That's weird", she turned back to what she was doing.

#honesty #outofthemouthsofbabes

Ad-Lib #12

Resurrecting the AdLib series, because my 10 yo says the best funniest things. Some of these I posted on my facebook page but I want to put them down here as well.

Y singing: "Love is an open door...."
As snapping: "No it isn't!!"
The literal-minded don't get poetry. 

Ads to me: How much do you love me?
Me: As much as the entire universe.
Ads: Do you mean the observable universe?
Me: Huh?? (standard reaction!)

Ads: You know Amma, Adolf Hitler is a great example of a person who persevered against all odds to realize his dream. He started his political party in 1918 but did not become Chancellor until 1933. He waited 15 years to get to where he wanted.
Me: That's actually a really good example.
Ads (wisely): Yes, but no one will like to use it and say Hitler was really good at something.

Kiddisms #2

It's been a while since I blogged, and I don't know quite where to begin. It's fair to say we have all been so busy with our routines and with living life, so to speak, that writing about it and recording memories have had to fall by the wayside. Being up at 5 am to get ready for a hectic day and falling into bed exhausted at 10 pm does not an active blogger make!

But it's all good -- we are fast approaching the end of yet another school year. How times flies! Ads will go to 4th grade this year and will turn 9 in just a few months. Y will still be in kindergarten :) But she is going to have an extended day come June, so changes in store for her. My parents have settled in well and we have established a daily routine that pivots around the children's needs. I am loving my job and while the commute is still killing, I have been working a couple of days a week from home which makes it easier.

But enough of that. The kids have been cracking me up with their usual antics. Jotting down a few here lest I forget!

Advaith has now taken to wearing shirts instead of t-shirts, all buttoned up till the neck (a la Dev Anand). When we step out, he likes to wear jeans/trousers (no shorts), belt, socks and shoes (floaters? what are those?). I am his biggest irritant because I'm constantly trying to make him dress down. The other day, I pleaded with him to unbutton the collar button. His response? A roll of the eyes and "Amma, I am NOT a Hindi film hero!" He dislikes seeing people with their shirts unbuttoned all the way down displaying their macho chests :)

His major mania is "neating". Apparently our apartment looks like a pigsty. I am so offended especially as I've spent most of my life being accused of being too neat and tidy. He spends every spare minute obsessively tidying up the flat, plumping cushions and keeping slippers lined up in ramrod-straight lines :) The Virgo streak is more than apparent, along with the OCD-like behaviour that marks many of us. One of my friends told me the other day that Virgo women are quite nice but Virgo men can be insufferable and I am beginning to appreciate those wise words :(

He still hates the camera and is a little relieved that "Amma does not click many photos nowadays." Glad somebody noticed! I asked him "Am I the best mom?". Ok I know, kinda silly question but I had just come away from an awwww moment of Y telling me "Amma you are not a good mom........you are the BEST mom!"

Ads sighed. "Amma, if I was Yashas, then Chitra aunty (Yashas' mom) would be the best mom. And if I  was X then X's mom would be the best mom."

I persisted. So what are you saying, do you think I'm the best mom or not?

Silence and a LOOK which seemed to say - Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies!

That's my boy - my harshest critic and the Raja Harishchandra of this family - he gives it like it is! Between him and S, I can rest assured I will never suffer from an inflated ego!

Y on the other hand, is the one that signs off each night with a solicitous - "Amma, are you going to do some work? Don't strain yourself, ok? Go to bed soon!"

Bumpy-bumpy

Anna, do bumpy bumpy. 

Y orders her brother every few minutes in the swimming pool. Resigned, he stops whatever he is doing (which is trying to float on his back, and practising his freestlyle strokes), takes her in his arms, and bounces and whirls her all over the water while his sister shrieks in pure delight.

Duty calls. Even in the swimming pool!

Moms Diaries Posts

I've been writing for Mom&Me, the chain of baby stores started by Mahindra Retail, for a while now. They have a bunch of other moms blogging as well.

Here's my latest post about Sibling squabbles.

Rakhi 2012

I always get unreasonably excited about Rakhi. Especially now that the kids squabble so much. It seems like there is low-level skirmish going on all the time, which frequently bursts out in the form of explosive warfare. I'm not enjoying this phase in the sibling relationship. I am told by more experienced parents that this might well continue for several more years.

My brother said when I told him about this "I thought Ads-Y were very harmonious?" Well, yes, they are, by and large. They share really well, they love each other to bits and Ads is Y's hero, no doubt about that. Yet between his evolution into the pesky teasing elder brother and her tendency of not giving an inch, I'm going more than a little nuts.

So Rakhi signalled a temporary truce between the two warring factions! This year, the kids took out money from their little piggy-banks to buy books for each other. We made Rakhis at home well in advance, with paper, glue and old lace. Y prepared the Thali for the pooja with a lamp and sweets. She applied the tilak on her brother's forehead and they tied Rakhis on each other's wrists and fed sweets to each other.

Thus went our improvised version of this tradition. I explained to them the significance of the festival and they listened with rapt attention, but soon got back to regular programming :)

Oh well. Atleast I tried :)

So how did it all go?

Our experiment this summer - having the kids spend part of their summer vacation at Chennai and be looked after by both sets of grandparents for about 2 weeks - was unquestionably a win-win situation for all. Husband and wife got some much-needed couple time and were able to have a lovely holiday to celebrate their wedding anniversary. The children and grandparents bonded far more than they usually do (there's no mom and dad hovering around, after all). While there was definitely an increased workload on all four seniors, the mitigating factor was that all of them are pretty sprightly people with active lifestyles. They seem to have handled the challenge of parenting two small children with aplomb. 

In addition, I can see that the two siblings have become closer than ever before. Thrown together, with no friends to distract them, shuttling between two homes in Chennai, they have adapted beautifully and each has become the other's support system. I would never have expected Y to get through the holiday without her Anna lovingly leading her by the hand every step of the way.

So, yes, I'm really happy we took the plunge this year. It made a huge difference for S and me. It opened up these simply vast pockets of time when we simply did not know what to do. Freed from feeding, bathing, potty-cleaning, book-reading, playing, cleaning-up, homework and assorted other duties that go with the parental territory, we were initially a little foxed by how to spend all the free time. In that, atleast in Gurgaon and within our set of friends, we are a little unusual because we have no full-time help. Other couples with kids can and do step out for dinners and movies and such ever so often, in the late evenings or after the kids are in bed. They can attend pub lunches and bond over bowling sessions with friends. S and I have sometimes been left out when only one of us can attend batch-mate socials or a gathering over drinks at someone's house (no kids, please).

Yesterday, we walked over to Haldiram's for a quick dinner and we saw a PVR multiplex there. We are hearing good things about Ferrari ki Sawaari so we discussed whether we should catch the film after dinner. Suddenly S smiled and said "So, you mean, we can REALLY do that? Watch a film, just like that?" I know it may sound silly to some, but it was a source of wonder to us that we could actually, without any planning whatsoever, just walk in and see a movie, or do something else we liked. The nicest part of the last fortnight has been in reliving our carefree pre-kid, no-responsibility years, being able to talk and talk (and not run out of conversation!), read as much as we liked, not have to worry whether lunch and dinner and snacks will be on the table on time, and....oh well, you get the picture.

The hardest part? The hardest part has been missing the kids, especially for the last week. It was a good thing that I have been up against some project deadlines that had me wedded to the laptop for the last few days, otherwise I would have felt really depressed. I didn't like talking to them on skype because I felt that they would miss me more when they saw and heard me (I was right). When I saw Ads bravely wiping away some stray tears, or when Y said "Amma, I miss you", I felt as though my heart would break. While on the whole I am assured by my parents and parents-in-law that they were perfectly happy and content, I think that probably, just for the first year, we should have stopped with a week and not stretched it to two.

It's such a cliche that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Like most cliches, it is also very true and I cannot wait to have the little monsters back in my arms very very soon. I'm glad that all of us had a good summer (although school re-opens only after another fortnight). It's high time our family got back together again.

Warming the cockles of my heart

Some heartwarming moments that I managed to capture over the last week, thanks to handy cameraphones.

This scene – Y receiving Ads as he gets down from his school bus and the two of them amicably walking back home.

Big bro gamely trying to lift not-so-little sister, and managing to stagger a few paces!

Must look back on this the next time they fight like cat and dog today and everyday!

Missy who needs body warmth

I tucked them both into bed at 8.30 pm, as usual. I kissed them good night, cuddled both, and placed them on opposite ends of our bed with a strict admonition to both to face away from each other. No talking, no giggling, and no eyes open! Ever so often, I have left the room only to be pulled back by Ads' anguished cry " Amma, she is disturbing me! Amma, tell her not to cuddle me! Amma, she is too close. I don't have any space!"

I pecked away at my laptop for a good 45 minutes. There was complete silence from the bedroom. I went in to check on them (silence is always suspicious and sometimes unnerving!) and this is what I found.

As always, Y managed to have her way :)

My kowhai and my kauri

The friend with whom we stayed in Auckand gifted a book to Ads. It is called "The little Kowhai tree" and it's a very cute book about 2 trees (siblings, a brother-sister pair) who stand up for and protect each other. The children can't get enough of the book and I am reading it out to them several times a day. The same two lines repeat several times in the book and whenever they appear, the kids chorus (Y in high-pitched tones, very loud and clear and Ads with his altogether deeper, more bass voice) "I'm a little kowhai, short and stout. If you hurt my brother, you better watch out!". 

As the book comes to a close, Ads ends with "I'm a great big Kauri, tall and stout. If you hurt my sister, you better watch out!". 

Such Awwwww moments!

THE Bond

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that my children play so well together that they have not made any friends in our apartment complex? That they constitute such a complete self-sufficient unit, so happy and content in each other, that other kids are almost superflous to them? It is not all harmony all the time. They fight a lot, too (something I will blog about in a separate post). But overall, they play beautifully together. I often wonder if it's because Ads is a very gentle boy and Y is a somewhat boisterous girl. Did they manage to meet in the middle? :)

In the playground, there are other kids around. But due to a combination of Ads’ natural shyness (something I am working at overcoming) and Y’s ready and ever-willing presence, he is simply not willing to go out there and play with other kids. Ditto for Y. They have loads of fun inventing their own silly games, competing with each other to see who climbs the play structure first, and giggling nonstop. If Ads wants to make a “house” for the ants, Y runs up all ready with sticks and stones for digging the “foundation” for the house. If Y wants to clamber up the slide, big brother is there to give her a hoist up. At home, Ads seems unable to play by himself. He is always inviting Y to participate in his activities, and even resents her naptime because he doesn’t sleep and doesn’t want her to! :(

I realize that this too, may be a phase. A matter of time. In a few months, I may be blogging about their independent interests and new friends. But presently, it’s a daily wonder to me to see their beautiful relationship, their interdependence and their joy in each other. I wonder whether this relationship will last throughout their life. I hope it will. Then I check myself. It is enough, it is more than enough that they have this bond for now; and they have given me the privilege of experiencing it.

Another summer begins...

I managed to squeeze in a heavy-duty viral infection within the first week of moving to the new apartment. After being mostly prone for 2 days, I was back on my feet and racking the brains about how to keep the kids occupied and busy during the two weeks of summer break (Ads starts school next week). Inspiration and motivation came in the form of some amazing ideas from Gorgeous Karma, who is one amazing crafty mom. The first project we tried out was the Leaves and Crayon collage. Ads took a few minutes to get the hang of it, but then got pretty excited as he captured the veins, big and small, of each leaf. The end result, as you can see, is pretty :)

We did a lot of vegetable painting, with cauliflowers, carrots and green peppers, even onions. I made them do this on thin scrapbook paper, with the idea of using it as home-made wrapping paper. A nice touch to any gift!

They did some finger painting and painting with brushes and poster colours too.

The big challenge I have is to devise activities that would engage them for atleast an hour. I haven't hit that magic figure yet :( No art project which involves both the kids ever stretches beyond 30 minutes, and that's the absolute outer limit. If I leave Ads to his own devices then he can amuse himself with books, legos, drawing, puzzles or other toys for a substantial period of time. But then Y keeps popping in to see what he is doing, scribbling on his work, rearranging the puzzle, pushing the blocks etc etc - leading to enraged howls and shrieks! It's practically impossible for me to sit down with Ads for any activity that requires any concentration, because of Y's constant interruptions. Making him read, making him write, playing board games, or reading any non-fiction book to him are big no-nos because I can never focus on him alone. I feel like I'm shortchanging him and at the same time, involving Y in only the 'big-brother' activities seems unfair too! What I really seem to need is 2 heads and 4 arms so that I can attend to both their needs :)

Lest anyone get the idea that we were always productively and happily employed, let me state for the record how I just left them to their own devices when I needed a break from the two monsters angels. They managed to be at each other's throats most of the time. Every now and then, they would give me a pleasant surprise by concocting their own silly games and rushing around shouting and laughing :)

Baby lisping

Aren't Tantra t-shirts the cutest??? I'm so glad they have children's sizes!!! This is a new one I picked up for Y recently.

Last evening, after dinner, the kids and I were talking. Each one perched on one of my thighs (very painful!). Anyway, as we were chatting, Y said the word sweater in some context. The only thing is, she pronounced it, as she always does, as fetter. I asked her to say some other words starting with the sound sw.

Sweat. She said fet.

Swot. fot.

Swim. fim.

Swindon. findon.

Swat. fat.

Ads and I couldn't stop laughing and Y was very happy to have been the cause of so much merriment. Ads' peals of laughter were cut off abruptly when I asked him to say Rallies. He said - Yallies. I said - Oh you mean Yallies? He was enraged - No amma, I said YALLIES!!! I said - Never mind Ads I love the way you say yallies instead of rallies. He was almost in tears (time for me to shut up and stop laughing, I thought!) - Amma I didn't say yallies, I said yallies!

:)))

The parent's revenge

I was watching them, secretly (as always); and Ads shouted at Y in sheer frustration: "Will you please stop talking for ONE SECOND?!!!"

I almost fell off the sofa, I was laughing so hard and Ads was so mad at me. It wasn't the first time this had happened, and every time it does, I react in the same way. With delight. That Ads is being paid back in spades for all the incessant talking that he plagued us with for four years.

In fact, he's now a lot quieter than Y who talks non-stop. To me, S, Ads, the maids, and to the walls and imaginary conversations on the phone when no one is listening (which is most of the time!). But most of the time, she talks to her brother, and expects a response and that drives him nuts especially when he is concentrating on his drawing. I know how it feels when someone talks so much that you can't hear yourself think. Ads is going through that now.

I'd spare some sympathy for him, if I wasn't so busy gloating.....

Sweet revenge. It feels good.

Hit or be hit?

Ads complained to me a couple of times about how some kid (a year younger than him) was hitting him on the school bus. This same kid used to forcibly take his water bottle away and drink from it, leaving Ads with no water in the afternoons. I told Ads to take a firm line with this kid. I'm not sure whether he did so, but I had also told the bus didi to keep an eye out for such goings-on, and the problem seemed to get resolved.

Contrast this with a conversation I had with Y's class teacher recently. She says "Y has been hitting other children. This is a phase, many kids go through it. You should talk about it at home, make her understand through the medium of stories that it is not okay to hit or push other children. We will do the same here at school." I was like - WHAT???? How did my children get to be so different? One is getting hit (and bearing it like a saint, I must add) and the other one is pushing poor kids around with no provocation. Every afternoon, Y comes back from school with some story about "So-and-so pulled someone's shirt, someone pulled so-and-so's hair". What is clear is that one of the actors in this drama is herself, but with her current lack of knowledge on pronoun usage, I am not sure whether she is acting or reacting! (Sure hope it's the latter, I am so not looking forward to the next PTM!)

Then I stumbled upon this article. Boy, did it explain a lot!

Two much love

Each time, I am amazed at what a good elder brother Ads is. It simply catches my breath, the adoration he has for his sister, the care he takes of her, the support he provides when I am mad at her (My favourite comment, Ads saying to Y: "Let's not talk to amma until she's in a good mood". WHA......TTTT????!!!!).

On the few occasions that Ads has come to Y's school with me at pickup time, he dashes to meet her, envelops her in a bear hug and showers her with kisses. She reciprocates by refusing to hold my hand, insisting on Anna taking her to the car and strapping her in the carseat. On days when she wakes up all sulky from her afternoon nap, Ads (rather than me) is a better choice to lovingly transform her mood into something more manageable. All I manage to do is infuriate her further!

I've written about this earlier (here and here) and if I ever needed any post-event justification for having brought a second child into this world, my kids have given it to me many times over. I'm immensely grateful that this particular pair of siblings dote on each other. Yes they fight and argue and drive me up the wall, but oh well, all in a day's work huh? I know that I am going to eat my words after 14 years when Ads sneaks his sister out to a late night disco, lipstick and miniskirt and all :)
But I think I will deal even with that as long as I know that several decades down the line, they still love each other as much as they do now. Is that too much to ask?