Friday 11 November 2011

And baby turns 3

I'm sitting at my laptop, wanting to write a post about my daughter who turned 3 last week. All the sweet awwww-inspiring things. And nothing, nothing, comes to mind. Mommy guilt strikes hard as I think about the eloquent prose I churned out when Ads turned 3. 
This happened just a couple of days ago. I gave up and saved the post as a draft, knowing that the words would come later.
I've found this time and again, that the sense of wonder, of surprises waiting around every corner, the sense of accomplishment that I had with Ads - these do apply to Y as well, just in a highly diluted form. Or put it another way, been there, done that. With Ads, one exclaimed over every new achievement and felt the same upsurge of emotion in the heart. With Y, one still exclaims (!) but in the heart, we just take it in our stride. She was also always a little more advanced for her age than Ads, who always did things bang on time, not a week less, nor a month more. We still call him our babycenter baby because he used to hit his milestones just around the same time that babycenter sent us a mail telling us to expect that particular milestone :) Because she was so precocious, we got used to her punching above her weight. I often think we have been so unfair. We expect her to do more than she should. But when she does, we never give her the credit for it! 
Anyway, our 3 year old has been going through some personal crises lately. I had blogged earlier how she was going to school quite happily and with no fuss . But then there was the kid who was hitting her, pulling off her glasses etc and she got petrified of encountering him in class. That matter got sorted out after a chat with the teacher but Y continued to dissolve into tears every time her school van came to pick her up, and sometimes even in school. She went off her food and became very quiet and withdrawn, not even playing with her friends in the complex. This continued for about a month. Over the last few days, there has been some improvement. She is eating a lot better, starting to be more social, less clingy, and so on. I was telling one of my friends that Y is passing thro some 'phase' and she promptly said "Yaar, mujhe in phases se bahut dar lagta hai!" (Translation: These phases scare me!)
Another thing that is putting her off school is the language barrier. Tamil is her strongest language and she cannot communicate anywhere at that level of fluency in either English or Hindi, although she is slowly learning both. I've seen Ads encounter the same problem in his school in the US, where he was one of the few kids who knew very rudimentary English when starting off. So I am confident Y will vault over this particular barrier sooner rather than later. 
My daughter is affectionate (VERY affectionate), very stubborn (wonder where she got THAT from? :)), very bright. She loves dancing, singing, playing the fool, reading, spicy food, especially Punjabi food, nice clothes, handbags, shoes, hairclips and bangles! In short, all the things that make life so pleasurable! She absolutely loves to go out, an area where she is diametrically opposite to my homebody son. She has an amazing zest for life, or as she puts it "I like masti!"
If there is one thing I wish for you, girl, it's this. May the masti never end.


  1. Belated wishes to Y. May God bestow the best on her and may she always get to do her masti. Nice to hear the kiddos milestones. I still wonder why it happens that the second kid is always taken for granted kind off. The bars are always raised for the second ones but still they are the most bubbly self. Hugs to the kiddos.

  2. aww..this is a heartfelt post from the mom of a 3 year old..don't worry about not feeling spontaneous..
    am sure Y will start being her usual independent self now that she's already on the way to. Yes, phases can be tiring!
    She is a happy-go-lucky child I must wishes to her once again!

  3. The Awww might have been delayed, but this is definitely very very Awwww indeed :). The school thing sounds tough, but she seems totally like she's going to be bouncing back to normal soon!
    Lovely to hear about her traits.. and the whole second child scene.. sounds very familiar to me too.. :) But they so make their own space don't they, in case we become too complacent ;).

  4. Happy Masti day and year to Y from our corner of the world, Aparna! Good to know she's bouncing back....sad that she had to go through it.

    Second kids are always trying to reach for more, bite off more and then worry about sure she'll ask what the credit is being given for! :-D

  5. Happy birthday to Y! It is nice to read a post about her. I feel like this is the first time I am sort of getting to know her more. Sad about her school issue. KG also went through a school crisis for a month but I ended up changing schools. Y is a year younger than KG. And Ads and KB are the same age almost.
    Yes, may the Masti continue always. nice way to wish her!
    Here we always feel KB was ahead in intellectual type milestones and KG was ahead in physical ones. She walked before KB did and climbed all kinds of slides when she was v young where as KB used to be scared.
    I loved your Udaipur photos. So lovely. You are so lucky to be able to travel India like this! I so wish I could tag along!

  6. Thanks for the wishes everyone! I'm feeling very touched that people who have never met me or my kids have got to know them thro these pages and have sent wishes on her birthday. It's an amazing feeling :))

  7. @noon: thank you. We always say that Ads learns by asking and Y learns by doing. So they are somewhat similar to KB and KG that way - we also feel Ads reached his intellectual milestones faster but physically Y is as good or even better than him even at this age!
    Glad you liked the Udaipur pics. I aim to please :)

  8. Awwwww. The awwwww might have been delayed, but this is very much awwww too. :)

    Masti is a very important part of life - the part which makes life worth living. May it always continue!

    Wishing Y many , many happy returns of the day!

  9. @thegalnxtdoor: Thank you sooo much :)

  10. wow! she is three already! with all the masti she is growing up to be one helluva delhi girl :)

  11. My hugs and love to the adorable little girl and many heartfelt wishes for her birthday... :)
    So sorry to read about this phase that she's going through at school. Really sad what bullying can do to delicate minds. I think it should be tackled emphatically as well as sensitively by the class teacher and the bully as well the affected ones imbibe a message of kindness...
    This babycenter milestone thing that you mentioned...oops..I have never ever kept a check on milestone etc. not even the weight/height indicators. Have always trusted my guts....I can't handle the anxiety of all this! Or, may be I'm a bit lazy for this.. :P

  12. Hey dear Happy Birthday to Yukta.
    I'm late, as usual :-)
    Good to hear she's getting over the school thingy. I think it's quite traumatic when such things happen to you...i was branded a "cry baby" in early school and got bullied often by the other girls in class, so completely understand this. As it is, dealing with the idea of school can be traumatic! One only hopes there will be friends in the near future who will ease things up for her and make it a loveable place. Congrats to you too, for her turning three - it's as much your celebration ;-)

  13. @Rashmie: Actually I don't track it myself (I did it for Ads but have stopped for a few years now). My husband still gets the mailers tho and keeps me updated :)

  14. @Forever mother: Thanks. I feel horribly depressed when kids are mean to my kids. Yesterday someone in Ads class called him "buddhu", "idiot" and "patla" and I felt sick. The idea of school sometimes traumatises me more than it does my kids :(

  15. eeks that's so mean to say such things..R is also quite gentle when it comes to dealing with his peers and doesn't really retaliate when provoked. I know it is too early to judge and be concerned but what can you do when kids younger than him are far more aggressive and instinctively protective of "their" things...sigh!


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