Personalities

Ads has recently started writing a diary. What has he gotten himself into? Did he not know (and why did I not anticipate) that being who he is, he would get stressed about not writing an entry every single night? Last night, he was so tired he could barely drag himself from the dining table to his bed. Yet his last words before sleeping were - "Amma, wake me up early tomorrow. I need to write in my diary."

Which of course, I did, because this kind of discipline and diligence is SO me. Some people call it borderline OCD behaviour :) 

When you see flashes of yourself in your kids, sometimes you want to steer them away from doing what you did...Sometimes, you just smile in understanding and let them go ahead, even though you know nothing good is ever going to come out of it.

I am told that both my kids need to be more outgoing, and able to make friends easily. Now I can never buy this "extroverts are better" argument. Nature dictated that my kids are both a little reserved and shy. After all, their parents are not extroverts! However, over the years, education travel and workplace opportunities have transformed S and myself into socially adroit and confident creatures. No doubt the same will happen to Ads & Y as well. I have no burning desire to have them be social butterflies or the life and soul of the party, at this age. I do coax them every now and then to go up and talk to kids they don't know, and help them strike up conversations with casual acquaintances. But I don't make a habit of pushing them. Often when I speak to someone in the elevator or in the park, Y has asked - "Why did you speak to that Uncle/Aunty? You don't know him/her." I know something clicks when I respond; there is my small learning moment! I know how long is has taken for Ads (many many years of nagging!) to voluntarily offer a greeting to someone he knows or a visitor to our home. Every time he does it, Y learns from him. Baby steps!

It's ok to have a couple of good friends, and a couple only. I never had a huge gang of friends growing up and even now the number of good friends is really small. Isn't that how it is for most of us? It was hard for me to be open and gregarious. Over the years, I conditioned myself differently and now it's become second nature. Perhaps my only role is to facilitate my children's journey. Point, coax but never ever force them to be something they aren't. 

I will have to gently break the news to Ads that his diary entries have been dated wrongly. He thinks we are still in January but it's already the 4th of February! He has to fill in 3 days worth of entries in the middle :) What fun we are going to have today!