So what have they been upto?

The kiddie updates have been few and far between lately. There are so many sweet little moments, wisecracks that have me rolling on the floor, and monumental temper tantrums that should have been recorded for posterity, but time has been at a premium. 

So what have the kiddos been upto? Ads has been bitten by the reading bug on one hand, to the extent that some days he steps off the school bus intent on his book with no heed to where he’s going. On the other hand, some games and apps on the ipad have him hooked. Unfortunately nothing cerebral or informative – it’s Thor the Dark World and Iron Man 3. Other than monitoring the amount of time he spends on this (and he has been overall pretty disciplined about it), I don’t get on his case too much. I am so happy he reads, and while the time he spends drawing has come down drastically, it’s still an interest and a hobby and for that small mercy, I remain thankful :)

Y has turned into quite the young lady – posing prettily for photos, being eternally interested in clothes and shoes, and being a chatterbox who turns horribly shy when meeting new people. She is happy at school and beginning to read a little bit (a few words here and there). She is passionate about drawing too and a lot of fights are about who borrowed whose crayon/sketch pens and did not bother to return it.

Which brings me to the most annoying thing of all. They fight ALL THE TIME! It’s beyond annoying, it’s exhausting just to listen to them. I hardly ever intervene except when Y uses her hands instead of words. This is happening increasingly often which means I have to rush to Ads’defence otherwise he would be beaten to a pulp in no time. We had a horrrifying incident (while holidaying in Singapore recently) when Y was grimly hanging on to Ads’ arm, pinching him really hard all the while as he howled in pain. I taught my son never ever to use his fists to resolve an issue; clearly I didn’t bother to teach the same values to my daughter!

In the 10% of waking hours when they aren’t fighting, it can be an excess of lovey-doviness – long conversations, lots of cootchie-cooing, mainly by Y when she loudly proclaims “Anna is SOOO cute!” and starts chasing him all over the place in order to kiss him. He hates it and keeps running away and of course from there on, we are just a hop skip and jump away from a major fight :)

So yes, there’s never a dull moment but playing the referee (albeit a very bored one) is not fun at all :(

Resurfacing

So many big changes!

I went back to full-time work. Its been a couple of weeks now and while the commute is killing (Whitefield to Koramangala, anyone?), the work has been very interesting and the people have been lovely. So far, so good :)

My parents (and one 92-year old grandma) moved to Bangalore, to the same community I live in. Another 79 yo grandma expected early next year! It's been lovely having them around, Someone commented that your parents have a 'lilt' in their voice now - and why not? I'm sure seeing their grandchildren every day has that effect on all paatis and thathas :)

It's been super-busy, getting the house and related infrastructure ready for my folks, while also working in fits and bursts and juggling the two kids in the midst of all this. The mornings are especially crazy since we are all out of the house by 8.30 am. 

Predictably, blogging has taken a backseat. Hopefully I will be more regular from January onwards.

Chikmaglur holiday

We used the Deepavali weekend to go to Chikmaglur with my parents-in-law. I've been planning a trip there ever since our first stint in Bangalore between 2003 and 2007 but there was always a jinx on it - I remember we booked acco a couple of times but then had to cancel. This time I had my fingers and toes crossed and fortunately, other than an excruciating 2 hours trying to get out of Bangalore city on Rajyostava day, we made good time and reached our homestay in Chikmaglur in time for lunch even after a quick stop at the Hoysala temples at Belur. 

Our homestay was beautifully situated and remote, in the center of a bonafide working coffee plantation. Our hosts were extremely congenial and the other guests were super-friendly. In fact, we got to be good friends with another couple with a small kid who took a shine to Y and Ads. This cute kid insisted on following the former around everywhere and calling her "Dolly"! My parents-in-law are both social people and they enjoyed having a few other families around to chat with, so the homestay idea worked out well for us as opposed to a more resort-like or hotel ambience. 

Chennakesava temple at Belur

Superb craftmanship

 

The homestay - Ads & Y biking in the distance

On the first evening, S, my fil and I decided to go on a trek to Bendgall, a challenging rocky climb that left us gasping for breath. My fil couldn't make it more than a quarter of the way but S and I and the other couple with the toddler gamely plodded on, with able assistance from our hardy guide. We took turns to carry and cajole the little boy up the steep hill. This other couple also gave up near the summit when they realized that one had to climb on all fours, on hands and knees with hardly any footholds to speak of! It was thrilling and adventurous to put it mildly but I was in the middle of a major andrenaline rush and managed the last bit quite easily. The views from the top were certainly worth every creaking joint, panting breath and scrape/tear (I managed to fall down and get a couple of deep gashes on my knee and leg as we descended).

The beginning of the trail, which disappeared as we climbed higher

Narrow pathways

View from the top

Our guide was so sure-footed and it doesn't look that steep, but the only way we could get down was on our bottoms!

Another view from the top - the road down below is the one from where we started climbing!

The next day, we were treated to a very informative walk through the coffee estate where my fil and S quizzed our host about the economics of growing coffee. All dreams of owning a small estate some day came crashing down as we realized the manifold risks of being an agri-entrepreneur, most of them far beyond one's control! That evening, we visited Kavikalmatta, another stony and bone-wrenching drive away, but well worth it for the fabulous views. I was forcefully reminded of the many LOTR landscapes in New Zealand - yes that's how beautiful it was!!!

Maybe I've said it before but I'll say it again. The more I travel across India, the more convinced I get that there is truly no country on Earth as beautiful as ours. We were unmatched in both the gorgeousness and the diversity of our landscapes.

We stopped to gape at the temples in Halebidu on the way back to home sweet home, and a hurried Deepavali celebration which consisted of hanging thorans, and lighting clay lamps and candles. Our green warrior Ads was most happy to be out of the noisy Diwali celebrations in our community and not have to watch people bursting crackers!

A new feeling, this.

It's the morning of Y's birthday party and S is puzzled. Isn't it time you were getting stressed? He asks me. Wonder of wonders, I must be getting good at this gig because this is the first time ever that I have not been stressed over a birthday party. Experience tells, I guess :) The decorations are up (all except the balloons), cake ordered, games and meal planned, party favours sorted out and I don't have that niggling feeling that I have missed out on something! All this for the biggest crowd ever - we have 16 kids and 10 adults arriving today, not including the four of us and my parents-in-law.

And I love that after today, I can put up my feet for the next 9 months :) Yay for that!

Y turns 5

Y turned 5 years old this week. It was very bittersweet. I was (and still am, slightly) depressed. It feels like the end of something – childhood? Can't be - not yet, surely! Babyhood? Certainly, yes. She gets leggier and sassier by the day and I don’t like it. I miss the soft baby curls. When she lisps or mispronounces words (very rare these days), my heart flips over. Yet...yet...she still has those luscious baby cheeks and her very own babyish smell. She still looks pitifully small when she leaves me to climb onto the school bus. Her eyes still light up when she spots me at pickup time. She starts talking the minute she is off the bus and does not stop for the next 8 hours :)

Maybe I have some more time to savour her babyhood before she becomes a big girl!

She has been unadulterated delight from the day she was born. I’m probably jinxing myself right here by saying this, but the last five years have been a breeze. She was an easy infant, an easy toddler who potty-trained herself at 2 years and an absolute pleasurable kid now. There have been no tantrums, no fuss, no hang-ups. Ok, now, what’s the catch??!!! There’s gotta be one! She’s a confident kid but a little shy and reserved in public. She goes to a toddler singing class and learns freestyle dance. From being that kid who couldn’t string two sentences together in English, she now speaks the language confidently (much to my dismay, Tamil is falling by the wayside).

I remember the sheer happiness glistening through the tears in S’s eyes when he held his daughter for the first time. I felt somewhat the same when her birthday came around this year. Happy-sad is what Y calls it! "Amma are you happy-sad?" She asks me atleast once every day. Of course the answer always has to be "I'm Happy!

She makes my day when she clings to me and yells (and this happens every day) – YOU. ARE. SO. HUGGA. BLE.  AND. SO. KISS. ABLE. I. CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. IT!!!

Happy birthday, little-big girl. As much as I would like to freeze time, I will let you go with the promise of the best years still to come.

Our golu this year

New place, new friends, new dolls and yes, managed to get a proper 3-step padi as well for Golu 2013 edition!

 

 

Kumarakom (and Fort Kochi)

My mother was visiting and we went to Kumarakom for a few days at the beginning of Navarathri holidays. S and I have visited most of Kerala but the backwaters had always been waiting patiently to be crossed off the bucket list :) I had booked a houseboat for the first day and night and a KTDC luxury resort for the next few days, the latter based on TGND's gorgeous pictures and recommendation! Thanks, TGND!

First things first. Kumarakom is absolutely lovely. I'd expected it to be touristy, imagining us to be jostling on the lake with a whole bunch of other houseboats, speedboats and what not. That scenario couldn't have been farther from the reality- fortunately. The lake is so large that we felt like we had it all to ourselves. The only sounds were the gentle lapping of the waters and the twittering and flapping of birds (snakefish! brahminy kite! blue jay! as Ads excitedly pointed out). The houseboat droned monotonously through the still waters as we snoozed in comfortable loungers on the upper deck, books in hands but words swimming as we sank into a post-lunch stupor. We were roused by the arrival of filter coffee and tapioca chips :)

In the evening, I was back to my usual frantic photo-clicking self, as the kids played, squabbled and had loads of fun, running up and down the stairs and taking turns at "steering" the boat along with the pilot. The boat travelled from Kumarakom (Vembanad lake) to Alleppey before mooring at Kumarakom for the night. We had ample time to disembark and walk through a tiny village, every house boating a large solitary brass and oil lamp at it's main door for Navarathri. We walked through the fading light through narrow but silent streets to the temple and back.

This was the view next morning, as we woke up to steaming cups of coffee :) Kerala is utterly mesmerising.

The next few days were spent in the resort where the main activities were snoozing, playing games (chess for the dad and son), watching the glorious sunsets and chatting. We did spend an active day in Fort Kochi where I was bowled over by the antique shops in Jew Town. Amma and I spent a couple of happy hours floating in and out of shops and picked up a few brass artifacts.

I can't wait to go back to this gorgeous state - next trip up in January!!!

The losing battle

Several times a week, while eating dinner, she gives me a wistful look. 

I wish that ....

No! I unceremoniously interrupt.

....I can sleep with you and appa.

I studiously ignore her. It's all very fine to cuddle up with your little bundle of joy, but 8 years down the line, I'm unwilling to relinquish my hard-won victory - the reclaimed bed, space and night-time peace!

Twice a week, the two kids get to sleep in our bedroom. On Sunday nights, to help them deal with Sunday evening/Monday morning blues *rolls eyes* and one other night during the week. When these happy occasions come around - Yessss!!! Father and daughter gleefully pump their arms into the air in unison.

But just now, she knows better than to argue with me. If Appa was around, she would get some support. I would have two pairs of identical mournful eyes beseeching me :) Yes the dad is worse than his daughter but knows better than to cross me in this matter :)

So, being the smart cookie that she is, she goes for guerilla warfare. Attack when the enemy is at her most vulnerable. When all defences are down.

1 am or 2 am is the time generally chosen.

Amma, a small voice quavers pitifully. My legs are hurting soooo much. Or, I had a bad dream. 

Some nights, I pull her into bed with me. After a few leg massages and cuddles, off she goes back to her room, over the protests of her dad. Some nights, though, Lady Luck is on their side. I'm too tired or sleepy to fight. She triumphantly climbs into Appa's waiting arms.

When the enemy is within, what can one do??? :(

Some performances

Ganesh Chaturthi was performed on a massive scale within our community recently. Perhaps all festivals are mounted as lavishly - I wouldn't know since the festive season has just kicked off. The good thing was that all children (and adults) were given the opportunity to perform on stage in front of a large audience, something that doesn't always happen in school where auditions and such tend to push out the not-so-talented children out of the game. The bad thing, of course, is that there were plenty of sub-par performances that one had to endure. No matter - these were kids, they all looked sweet on stage, and so many of them had admirable confidence and poise that made up for.....err.......lack of ability or preparation :) Y was in a group dance that was well-choreographed and she managed to put up a decent show even though she clearly forgot half the steps and was copying the girl right in front of her :)

Ads' vocal group recital was a bit of a fiasco for unexpected reasons. The six children had sung extremely well at rehearsals. The organizers provided the kind of mikes you have to hold in your hand and that threw all of them completely. Each pair of kids that was sharing a mike ended up having a tussle on stage as to who would hold the mike with the result that they were completely unfocused on the task at hand i.e. singing! It sounded like three separate kutcheris on stage. Even the teacher was smiling and I was under the stage dissolved in fits of laughter at how comical they sounded :)

What they lacked in coordination, they made up in enthusiasm (most of them were shouting into the mike) and cuteness :)

Oh well. Next time, maybe.

In order to inspire Ads to continue with Carnatic music, we took him to a Carnatic vocal choir performing at Jagriti in Whitefield. I love this space, they have awesome things going on all the time and it's wonderful not to feel cut-off from the cultural events happening in the city. The children were outstanding. Such confidence, such talent, such enthusiasm! Every one of them seemed to be enjoying themselves thoroughly. Ads and Y watched and listened enraptured even though it was way past their bedtime. They particularly liked the innovative rendering of Anandamruthavarishini, where the kids used their mouths, hands, fingers and feet to recreate the sounds of raindrops, thunder, gushing water etc. More power to folks like Bombay Jayashri who are doing their bit to keep classical music relevant and interesting for the next generation.

Weekend break in Tranquebar

Last weekend, some friends and us (four families in all) travelled together to a place called Tranquebar (Tharagambadi) in Tamil Nadu. None of us had ever heard of it before. Practically the only reason I selected this place is that my favourite Neemrana has a property there. I love their hotels (or 'non-hotels' as they prefer to call them). Plus it seemed conveniently located to both Bangalore and Chennai (NOT, as we were later to find out!) and it had been a Danish settlement which seemed kind of quaint.

Later research revealed that Tranquebar (I much prefer the Danish name to the Indian!) has the second-thickest ozone layer in the world, so we looked forward to breathing in some super-healthy air and feeling extra rejuvenated :)

Our travelling woes started on Friday evening when it took us 2.5 hours of excruciatingly slow traffic-crawling to get to the station. The train was a joke. It was called a Garib Rath and was 100% air-conditioned! It had 3 side berths which I've never seen before; they seemed to me to be instruments of torture more than anything else. Indian Railways in its infinite wisdom also seemed to be piloting a new type of bottleneck. 3 AC Passengers had to walk to the next coach in order to pay and buy bedding! Why anyone who has forked a significant amount for an AC berth would choose NOT to have any warm bedding on an overnight train is beyond me, especially when the AC was on full blast at what seemed like 15 C. Not only were people having to walk up and down the corridors to pick up their bedding, the guy in charge seemed to be doing some sort of black-market trades by claiming to have run out of linen, leading to more corridor-walking and a lot of irate passengers.

Creating bottlenecks where there are none is truly an Indian specialty!

A none-too-comfortable journey later, we alighted at Pondicherry station and an hour later, met up with our friends who had hired a tempo traveller for their journey from Chennai. The drive to Tranquebar took close to three hours at the end of which we were treated to views of swaying palms fronting the Bay of Bengal - all the irritations of the journey were instantly forgotten and forgiven :)

 

View from our window

Examining the pool prior to a swim

The property is on the beach and there's a small temple just outside

There's nothing much to do in Tranquebar except sea-gazing and a visit to the Danish fort which was right next to where we stayed. Perfect for families with kids who just want to chill and hang out with no specific agenda. All we did was walk around a bit and eat a lot :)

The next day we visited the mangrove forests at Pichavaram which were really nice. Leaving you with some snaps.

 

The Danish fort-museum

As seen from our balcony

From the fort ramparts. The fort isn't a patch in terms of grandeur on our Indian forts, but the view - that's unbeatable!

Sunrise

Pichavaram sky

Mangrove alleys

 

Thanjavur could have been squeezed into the itinerary - but squeezed being the operative word, we left that destination for another day. The journey back to Bangalore was painful. Our train tickets did not get confirmed, sleeper buses weren't available so we drove to Chennai. The maddening traffic on the way to Chennai and early morning train to Bangalore left us all pretty tired, leaving us in need of more R&R :) Notwithstanding all of that, it was a lovely 2 days, one we will look back on with fond memories. 

Krishna Jayanthi

I'm not religious in the least and nowadays I find that I celebrate festivals only to feel good about concocting some of the traditional recipes. 

Seedai and aval payasam for Gokulashthami this year :) Needless to say, I was the only person who consumed the seedai (Disclaimer: it tasted good! But Ads doesn't care for fried stuff and Y copies him in most matters culinary :))

A weekend and paattu class

This weekend, our family split down the middle. S and Y went to Chennai. Ads (and therefore I) couldn't go - there was too much happening here. He has recently started tennis lessons at a new academy, much more expensive and also much more enjoyable for him. Lessons are Friday to Sunday. Then he had an exam to write, and tons of practice for singing bhajans during the Vinayaka Chaturthi celebrations in our community next week.

Overall, a pretty hectic weekend for him. But without two members of the family around to claim my attention (and hugs!) I had plenty of time to accompany/supervise Ads and lounge around the house doing basically nothing. It was bliss!

The music (paattu) classes have the potential to turn into a battleground. He finds them boring. I don't disagree - doing sarali and janta varisai day after day is not exactly a lot of fun. He has been happier now that they have been teaching him bhajans. He still wants me to pull him out once Ganesh Chaturthi is over....little does he know his teacher is already planning for Vijayadasami :) I'm somewhat conflicted - I hate forcing him to do something he doesn't like so should I pull him out? I'm no Tiger mom! He wants to learn the guitar - should I enroll him in that? (It's an either-or situation since we can't do both without compromising on his leisure and play time) Or should I keep buying time and hope that over the next few months, he will start enjoying learning vocal?

What do more experienced parents have to say? I need advice!!

Eight years

Eight years! It seems at once longer and shorter than that. Eight years since that squally rainy night when Ads was born, and our lives have been immeasurably enriched and happi-fied ever since :)
We had a party at home as usual. 15 kids, 14 of them boys. It was a riot! Having this many friends to call over is no mean feat for Ads, considering we have been in this home for just a few months and given the leisurely pace at which my kids make friends! I can see Ads growing better at this gig over the years -- does the fella even have a choice???? As much as I dread planning for birthday parties every year, as much as I wait for it to be over, I have to admit that once the party actually  begins, I enjoy myself a lot. I love organizing the games, clicking snaps and observing Ads have the time of his life. Every year, I promise myself that the next year I'll hand over the whole thing to Pizza hut or something similar, but every year I cave in and let myself into planning a far more fun, intimate and personal party at home.

On his birthday (the next day), we went out for a nice lunch, followed by Planes, which all of us enjoyed. Same old same old plot and treatment but fun nevertheless. S had also arranged for a cake to be delivered to our table during lunch. Ads was astonished and the grin on his face was something else! On top of that, there s a magician who came upto the table and showed the kids a lot of tricks. They were blown away with the personal performance. Ads got gifted several books by us and my parents - Geronimo Stilton and Horrid Henry are big favourites now.
So, that's another year of living and surviving Ads, behind us. He has turned into a naughty kid (late bloomer!) over the last several months - far more mischievous and sassy than he used to be. Also much more assertive and unafraid of standing up for himself which I am very happy about. On the flip side, the tiffs between brother and sister have escalated dramatically with neither of them budging from their positions and both being loud and vocal about their PoV!
Ads says his resolutions for the year are to cry less (!), fight with me and Y less, read more and start writing a daily diary. We plan to get him a new scooter. He's been using the old one for the last 4 years and its on its last legs, causing him much embarrassment. It creates such a racket when he's zipping around on it that I can hear him even when he is far far away :)

I think we made this birthday really special for him. Back to regular programming now and taking a breather before starting to plan for Y's birthday! 

This place in time

It's nice to have babies, but it's nicer still to have older kids.

I don't have to read their face or gestures to guess what they want or what they're thinking. They can tell me. Brutally, frankly, truthfully, and sometimes even when I don't want to hear it!

I don't have to plan ahead for meals when we are going out. Some water and fruit does the trick. Sometimes I forget and it's ok.

They know my phone number so they can call me if they need to.

They get their own water and plates to the table, serve themselves, clear up, brush their own teeth, bathe themselves. None of this is perfect and free of spills but they are getting there.

We can go out carrying just a handbag, some napkins and a hand sanitizer.

They stay quiet when I need them to and they can entertain themselves.

I don't need to break my head over holiday itineraries any more because their needs are pretty much the same as mine.

They can tell me all about their day. It's invariably interesting and entertaining!

They mimic me and make fun of me and my quirks, and I love that.

They are my biggest critics but they forgive me every time. They are my biggest fans and I savour that because I know it might not last for much longer.

We went out with friends the other day. They have an infant and it was sad to see them take turns to eat while the other rocked the baby. S and I heaved a sigh of relief - those days are long gone for us!

Though last week I held an infant in my arms and it was something else. 

But yessir, its nice to have older kids :)

Favourite corners and spaces Part 2

The kids have a decent-sized room here. Well, actually they've been lucky ever since we moved back to India in having large rooms allotted to them although now is the first time they are sleeping in their very own beds in a separate room. Growing up, I never had a room of my own. Most of the time, my brother and I bunked together. After we moved to Chennai (Madras) for high school, the shared quarters continued with the study table piled high with books being my only personal space. This arrangement continued into college and beyond with little change and the first time I had any scope to personalize my own space was in the second year of my MBA programme when we were given individual rooms. I well remember the excitement of collecting cast-offs from my seniors, choosing bed-linen and curtains and adding those little touches to make my room as warm, cozy and inviting as possible.

Anyway, given all this history, I wanted the kids to have a bright colourful room filled with their personality (not mine!). We picked up a bunk bed on sale for them as soon as we moved to Bangalore. Their 'study' table is actually our old dining table, a tiny 4-seater which is so badly scratched and dented that Ads keeps begging me to cover it up, Amma! So I do need to get it polished/painted at some point - I'm waiting to see if they manage to damage it any more before I get it fixed :)

Clearly, they do not need 4 chairs to study/draw on the table. And I wanted them to have a chair for when they want to sit by the window and read a book. So we took these two

and turned it into these.

Aren't they lovely? They even have the kids' names on them :)

All credit to the Spinning Wheel for the creative re-purposing. 

The kids' favourite stuffed animals find  a resting place on their beds...and on top of the toy chest of drawers!

My one indulgence was to get a nameboard done for them which now adorns the wall next to their baby pics. I'm tempted to add floor cushions and the like but keep restraining myself. It's a kids room and there should be a lot of floor space to jump and roll around and all the weird things that kids are wont to do :) 

Favourite corners and spaces Part 1

Sharing a few pics from the home which is finally looking the way I want ......after weeks of tweaking (or what the husband calls messing around!)

#1 - The entryway, where the biggest challenge was to find a really simple functional bench (not too large, no upholstery, no frills) to sit on to wear or remove one's shoes. I roamed around the city quite fruitlessly until I found Urban Ladder!

#2 - It's been a long-standing dream of mine to own a really elegant settee. Being mom to two small grubby kids and until now, not having a large enough living room, meant that all I could do was look and salivate :) I went all out after moving to Bangalore though. Found a fabulous woodworker/restorer, decided on a distinctly old-fashioned design, picked some pretty paisley-patterned cotton material from an awesome shop in Seshadripuram and ta-da! Definitely my favourite piece in the entire house (it's also very comfortable). S took one look at it when it arrived and wasn't too happy with the light colour of the fabric, given the aforesaid grubby kids, their grubby friends and all the accidents and spills that are likely to happen. But, hey, one can live dangerously right? :)

#3: Coffee table with hand-painted tiles. I got this done from another awesome guy in Mehrauli (Delhi).

#4: Partial view of the living room.

More photos coming up as soon as a couple of home improv projects get completed.

The embarrasing mom Part 1

I feel slightly guilty about not posting any updates on Y but truth is, Ads is providing enough and more intriguing/entertaining moments at this point. One of the latest is being thoroughly embarrassed by/with me (not so much with Appa - I have to resentfully wonder why?). It's a given that I do not kiss/hug or otherwise exhibit any PDA in public especially at drop off/pickup time, tennis class etc, where there are bound to be a bunch of kids looking on.

Some days ago, I had to give Ads a message while he was in the middle of tennis class. I walked in, maintained a safe (!) distance and talked to him. His expression was priceless! Or should I say lack of it. He was looking at me, but his eyes were beseeching me to go away. He knew I wouldn't move until he had acknowledged the message so he said Ok and managed to mouth it without actually saying it out loud and nodded his head oh-so-imperceptibly.

His entire body language said - Ok I got it...now can you please leave? Like RIGHT NOW?

Just when I thought girls aren't like that, Y tells me to buzz off from her dance class, cos "I won't dance if you are there".

Foolishly, I look to S for some understanding. He bands together with his kids. He says "I totally understand. I would have hated it if MY mom had landed up in tennis class!"

Talk about getting a sympathetic hearing!

PS: I named the post Part 1 because I sense this is just the beginning of my kids being embarrassed by me! :) 

And again!

Yesterday's gem -
Amma, is Gay a bad word?

I hastily explained that it is not a bad word at all, and demanded to know where he had heard the word (in the school bus apparently, where a couple of kids called Ads and his best friend 'gay').
Who are these kids?????
The list of words/concepts/issues I need to explain to Ads in a simple and age-appropriate manner grows longer by the day! Can't keep distracting him for much longer, I guess :)

Which type of boyfriend?

Today Ads asks me: So amma, was Appa your boyfriend in college?
Me: Yes (errr...where is this going? Not having a good feeling.)
Ads: So was he your kissing boyfriend or normal boyfriend??
I am speechless.

Choices

Several days after we had moved to Bangalore, Ads casually remarked that he liked Bangalore much more than Gurgaon. I asked him why. The pleasant weather? The large flat? The open spaces? His own room? His own bunk bed? The prospect of an extra-long summer break? For a 7-yo, there were reasons aplenty!

Instead, the brevity and simplicity of his answer took my breath away.

No, he said. I like Bangalore because you play with me here.

I was staggered. Probably I had hoped that he hadn't noticed? That I had not played with the most important people in my life for the past year. I hadn't gotten myself messy and hot and tired, laughed at silly jokes, and run around with them. I hadn't had the time to play board games. I hadn't had the energy to read books every night. In fact, while I was trying to keep it all together as a single working parent, I had done nothing more than the bare minimum of attending to their basic physical and emotional needs.

I had been a good mom, but only just. Certainly, I hold myself upto very high standards of customer service (!) when it comes to being a mother/parent. Last year, I had a tough time achieving my targets :(

No guilt-tripping here, no remorse etc (I don't do those). Just the increasingly loud voice in my head, getting more confident by the day, which is pulling me in a certain direction and towards certain choices. I can't ever be a stay-at-home mom (it's nice now, it's only been a couple of months but soon I am going to be pulling out my hair in large handfuls!) but I don't see a full-time career happening for a few more years yet. Not unless my parents decide to move in with me and give me a hand (Amma and Appa, are you listening? :))

It's that time again when well-meaning people begin to ask me when I am getting back to work, me having exhausted my relocation excuse, having had my summer holiday and having the kids back at school. I don't know, folks. My daughter's back home from school at 12.30. We have a leisurely lunch. We talk about what we did at school/home. Amma, you're sooo lucky to be at home, she says! We nap. I kiss her about a million times. We wake up. I have chai. We pick up a grubby older brother from the bus stop. Hectic activity ensues. Tennis class, music class, homework, park, bath, dinner. Sleep. It's humdrum but it's beautiful.

I will start getting out and talking to people and see if some work on my terms, comes up. I'm going to keep my career going, but I won't be driven crazy-busy by it.

Just so long as I can play with my kids!