This weekend, our family split down the middle. S and Y went to Chennai. Ads (and therefore I) couldn't go - there was too much happening here. He has recently started tennis lessons at a new academy, much more expensive and also much more enjoyable for him. Lessons are Friday to Sunday. Then he had an exam to write, and tons of practice for singing bhajans during the Vinayaka Chaturthi celebrations in our community next week.
Overall, a pretty hectic weekend for him. But without two members of the family around to claim my attention (and hugs!) I had plenty of time to accompany/supervise Ads and lounge around the house doing basically nothing. It was bliss!
The music (paattu) classes have the potential to turn into a battleground. He finds them boring. I don't disagree - doing sarali and janta varisai day after day is not exactly a lot of fun. He has been happier now that they have been teaching him bhajans. He still wants me to pull him out once Ganesh Chaturthi is over....little does he know his teacher is already planning for Vijayadasami :) I'm somewhat conflicted - I hate forcing him to do something he doesn't like so should I pull him out? I'm no Tiger mom! He wants to learn the guitar - should I enroll him in that? (It's an either-or situation since we can't do both without compromising on his leisure and play time) Or should I keep buying time and hope that over the next few months, he will start enjoying learning vocal?
What do more experienced parents have to say? I need advice!!
Not writing in as an experienced parent at all, I am in the same boat as you for a lot of stuff! My daughter does not want to continue with ballet this year - it's boring!! Wants tennis instead. I would prefer she learns some/any musical instrument in place of ballet but she's not open to that. I don't want to load her with too many activities but this time TV and comp time is being strictly rationed:)
ReplyDeleteIt's tough, no? But maybe u should start her off on tennis if she really wants to...maybe the musical instrument can wait until later? She may develop an interest all of a sudden!
DeleteI think going where he wants to go is the right thing to do. Some music - what does it matter if it is vocal or instrumental, Indian or western classical?
ReplyDeleteAt our place, we get them to commit to at least one year with an activity. Reason - want them to stick to something, stick long enough to get past the beginner phase to see some achievement and for it to be worth the investment. It works well when kids are interested, there's more incentive to stick to it too. Every activity has some slog overs to get past.
So since he hasn't yet completed a year, should I try paattu for a few more months?
DeleteWhat's the point if he's not into it, no? Plus the commitment needs to be set ahead of time. To me, there's no point making this a battleground. One thing I learned to ask of myself was 'whose need is it?' when something became an issue. When the answer was 'my need', which it was most of the time, I learned to let go. The let-go-with-grace part, I am still working on!
DeleteWhat's the point if he's not into it, no? Plus the commitment needs to be set ahead of time. To me, there's no point making this a battleground. One thing I learned to ask of myself was 'whose need is it?' when something became an issue. When the answer was 'my need', which it was most of the time, I learned to let go. The let-go-with-grace part, I am still working on!
DeleteMakes sense.
DeleteGetting young children to stick to classical music has never been easy. However, getting them back to it later would be even more difficult. It would be best to request the teacher to introduce a few more Bhajans, some of Dikshitar's notes etc. I have seen that this immediately enhances the level of interest and also makes the child feel good about singing a set piece. May not be a bad idea to also try and attend a few concerts for very short stretches and listening to more of music at home, if you are not already doing so. My advise - don't give up so easily, sticking to it will open out a wonderful world for them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, Geeta.
DeleteWe've been having this dialogue in our home lately.. a couple of days of the week have got over hectic and I'm not too happy about the rush that invariably puts me in a bad mood :(. I think music and musical instruments are not something kids take to very easily, so might need some pushing. It is something that forms a good foundation so maybe start pointing out some popular songs are in some particular raagam and he will learn all about it soon in paatu class - just one of the ideas :).
ReplyDeleteI agree...hopefully performing on stage, which he is doing today for the first time, will enthuse him as well.
DeleteDe-lurking!
ReplyDeleteSometimes you do have to push a kid. My older one simply did not want to try this fun dance-exercise type of thing that was being offered at school. She cribbed and cribbed but I kept insisting- albeit gently that she should try it out at least. As soon as class got over she texted me saying she had had a total ball and thanking me for making her go.
Also in my opinion, given that my kids used to learn Hindustani vocal and also play the cello/piano when we lived in uru, learning Indian classical creates a very strong base for learning Western music. Guitar in my opinion will evoke interest at any point in his life (given the 'cool' factor that other kids associate with it also helps) but Carnatic vocal might be a good idea to stick it out with.
Of course as Sangi said, this is all up to a point. If he totally hates it then yes switching might be an option!
Thanks choxbox. I am leaning towards this strategy as well. More music updates coming up soon!
DeleteI know a parent who is facing exactly the same dilemma as you are. So, what did you decide to do?
ReplyDeleteHaven't decided anything yet, TGND...am waiting and watching for now..
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