Sunday 31 July 2011

Slowed-down Sunday

Ads was sick today, running a high temperature in the afternoon. Towards the evening, I wasn't feeling too great myself and so we two sick-birds were thrown together while S took charge of Y, took her to the park, bathed and fed her etc. Since Ads could not go down to play, I kept him amused by reading a few books together and doing a couple of crosswords. We also retired to bed early and spent a lot of time in the darkness while lying in bed, talking about this and that. He was talking about his friends in school and all the class 'politics' (!) and I was reminiscing about my school days and how we would have to copy the day's notes from a classmate if we were sick and absent from school (how long ago those days seem, definitely in another life!). As Ads and I were chatting, it dawned on me, that because he was ill, today I had been more solicitous, more patient, more present and more caring with him. In short, I had been the kind of mom I strive to be every single day (a task at which I fail spectacularly on so many of those days), and I hadn't even tried all that hard!
Sigh. Now I can't wish that my child falls ill so that I can feel great about my mothering, can I? :(
I'm the kind of parent who tries so hard to do a good job that sometimes I don't enjoy what I'm doing.  I get so focussed on the nitty-gritties of day-to-day parenting that I lose sight of the nurturing and 'mothering' aspect. As they say, the journey is the destination. Today, Ads reminded me of all the reasons why I stay at home with my kids. The companionship, the conversations, the closeness, that should be a part of our everyday lives and ever so often, isn't. Because I am too busy washing dishes or folding clothes or making sure the maid has dusted properly.
When kids fall ill (yes, when mothers fall ill too!), life slows down. It's good when that happens :)
As you can tell, I am in a philosophical mood this evening. I caught the morning show of Zindagi na Milegi Dobara today, with a friend. While it's quite difficult to stop drooling and look past the 3 tall and very attractive lead actors of the movie (!!), what I liked about the movie was the non-preachy way in which it communicated a very simple but oft-ignored and forgotten mantras: Live life to the fullest. Enjoy every moment. Live in the present. Let it go.


  1. Hi Aparna.

    Hopped over from Sangi’s.

    Lovely post this one.
    And hope your son gets okay soon, and you too.

  2. Hi Choxbox, Thanks! and welcome! :) Son is looking better today and that makes me feel better :)

  3. hey totally with you on how we get caught up with routine and forget the bigger picture..i do that..:-(
    me too loved ZNMD...
    wish you and Ads a speedy recovery...

  4. wow powerblog! Some questions
    1. Were you mirroring his energy levels? is that why you were so patient?
    2. If so, do you mirror his energy levels when he is not sick?
    3. Are you possibly running out of steam trying to sustain that energy level dealing with him?

  5. Thanks Uma...ZNMD was a drool fest!

  6. Life_refactored: And here I was thinking I am the overanalysing parent! You just put me to shame :) The answers are...I donno...he isn't a high-energy kid or anything. He's a very good low-maintenance kid. Now we know where the problem lies, don't we? :)

  7. Of course we know where the problem lies.. its always the mother :D Dads are the knights in dull armour. Why dull? what do you expect after all the beatings at the hands of the wife.

  8. I could so identify with your description of trying too hard and feeling miserable about it on some days :(. Yesterday for example was a big scream fest between me and daughter (they can be so like us sometimes!), which I knew I should prevent somehow, but in the moment - I had no clue how to stop!! All the parenting books are to no avail if you can't remember them when you should!

    But on the bright side, it sounds like you had such a nice day chilling with Ads - to many more of such days even when you both are in the pink of health :)!!

  9. Apster: LOL on not remembering anything from the parenting books!


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