You ruined everything in the nicest way

Apparently, having children doesn't make you happy, says a controversial study.

What? Really?

Now they tell me?

Why didn't I plod through the reams and reams of research on this subject before I plotted to have kids?

I agree with all of the observations but the conclusion, however scientifically it may be derived, foxes me. Zero association between having children and happiness? Give me a break. I don't know anybody who has taken a conscious reasoned decision to have kids and regretted it even for an instant. I don't know any parent who has wanted to have kids, and having had them, has not believed their child (and parenthood) to be the most beautiful and joyous thing to have happened to them.

Yes, the sum total of irritating and stressful experiences which come with being a mum or dad may outweigh the sum total of positive experiences, especially during the early years. But there are enough positive strokes for parenthood to be an extremely worthwhile and meaningful experience. Being a mother has made me a better and stronger person, and enriched my life in ways I never dreamed possible. And yes, it has also made me much much happier (if somewhat - no, a LOT - more stressed). How about that?

Musician and songwriter Jonathan Coulton nails it spot-on with a lovely song about the double-edged sword that is parenthood. Apparently he wrote it for his daughter. I love what he has to say.

I was fine,


I pulled myself together

Just in time,


To throw my self away


Once my perfect world was gone

I knew,

You ruined everything in the nicest way



You should know,


How great things were before you


Even so,
They’re better still today


Now I can’t think who I was before


You ruined everything in the nicest way



Bumps in the road remind us


The worst of the best behind us


Only good things will find us, me and you

Days will be clear and sunny


We’re gonna need more money


Baby you know it’s funny


All those stories coming,
True


Despite my better efforts,


It’s all for you
the worst kind of cliché


I’ll be with you till the day you leave


You ruined everything in the nicest way