Tuesday 19 April 2011

It's all right... I knew it would be. Thanks for all the kind/encouraging words, everybody!!! Ads is doing reasonably well in adjusting to school. We've had a few bouts of crying and feeling rotten over the last few days but now he takes the bus to and from school and has fallen into a routine. What's really helped is that a lot of kids whom he sees three times a week at tennis lessons, also go to the same school, and some of them are even in the same class (although different sections). He has a few kids inside the complex whom he plays with on and off though I am yet to make any dent in the "mommy" network!
A few amusing incidents have taken place over the last fortnight. He goes to tennis coaching 3 days a week, Tuesday through Thursday, after school. There is this girl (from the same school and also in Class I) who was very friendly and super-helpful to him from Day one (when he was crying inside and outside the court). She's sort of become his anchor at tennis lessons and I often see them giggling together and talking (instead of hitting some shots.....waste of all that money, Ads!!!!) One evening, I dropped him off at the court, went back home because Y was still groggy from her afternoon nap and then came down again after an hour to pick him up. I was a few minutes early so I just hung around until he was ready. The kids were all spread out in a line and ready to play some game before the class broke up. The coach was shouting instructions. Ads suddenly hugs and kisses his friend (the girl I mentioned). He spots me, turns pink, and freezes for a couple of seconds. Then, very deliberately and with feigned casualness, he walks far away from her to the other end of the line! How did he learn to feel guilty about his act, and why did he feel the need to cover it up? I'm surprised because I know nothing S and I ever did or said could have contributed to his reaction on seeing my reaction.   Later, at home, he was mortified when I related the incident to my mom and I was laughing. Oops. S was told about it in strict confidence and I threatened him with dire consequences if he mentioned it to Ads. Typical reaction from S when I related this incident - "Tennis starts at Love all".
In the park, I ask him to actively get out there and make friends. I had suggested that he could go up to a kid who looked like his own age and maybe ask him their name, how old they were, and then take the conversation on from there. I don't think he heard the second part of my suggestion because now all he does is go up to a kid and ask him, in a very mechanised, robot-like fashion "What's your name? What's your age?", and then comes scurrying back to me! Pray, what does that achieve? I've asked him to go one step further and ask them if they want to play some game with him. I won't intervene any further with tips because he has to make friends in his own way and there is only so much I can help him. It would help if there were some moms around in the park who would also encourage their kids to play with other kids, but unfortunately I am almost always the only mom around. There are scores of maids sitting around, listening to their ipods, gossiping or talking on the phone. It's very annoying when I see so many of the maids who don't even bother keeping an eye on their wards, whether they are playing nicely, playing safely and not hurting themselves or others.
Forget the maids - do you know that I am now a proud grandmom?? Last weekend, we found Y lying down on the bed and Ads sawing at her stomach with a hacksaw, no less. He performed a quick blood-less C-section on my daughter and out came 2 stuffed toys (a tiger and a teddy bear). Y has named them after her 2 favourite second cousins. She spent a lot of time yesterday everyday feeding them, bathing them and taking care of them; but I think this whole motherhood thing got to her after a while (tell me about it, baby!) and she hasn't spared them a second glance since :)
KIDS. Who needs entertainment when they are around.
Bye-bye and have a nice day. This is Y's standard comment to all and sundry, whatever the time of day and even if nobody is going bye-bye!


  1. Great going Ads.. and i'm sure it keeps getting better :)..

    LOL at Love All ;).. and the C-section :O

    About parks and keeping an eye on kids - I'm totally with you on that one - I'm one of those moms who'll shamelessly tell another kid what I think if they are misbehaving in a way that nearly hurts my kid.. have you seen how high some of those kids swing? And that's just the least of it.

    Hubby says I'm coddling too much etc etc.. I'll tackle the after effects of coddling later maybe, but right now I'm more interested in keeping my child safe :).

  2. Hey nice to know abt are great at adapting..
    loved the part about Y playing the mother...:-)

  3. Heart breaking watching them cope with change isn't it?

    How did the girl's parents react? Were they cool about it?

    :) Yukta's behavior reminds me of the day our son was born. When my daughter first her brother. She promptly had me place him in her lap and insisted that she would feed him :) Girls are all sweet. Arent they?

  4. Haven't seen the girls parents ever - she's always with a maid. Donno what the maid thought. Oh wait she wasn't even looking :)

  5. Hey, I am one too. To a Dora doll we call Aurora in daughter's world. She even builds homes for the little tyke and leaves her with me when she goes to the loo. Already. And here we thought we were just getting out of primary stage. Kind of. Happy sigh! :-D

    Can't deal with this maid culture. Read about the maid who kidnapped a kid in your whereabouts when we were in the NCR area and it sent chills down my spine. Am I abnormal or a clingy parent or is it normal to try to provide basic safety?


I would love to hear your thoughts :)