I don't get it. Why on earth is it my responsibility if my husband is as slender as a weed? If I was as thin as a stick, would anyone blame my husband for my lack of "health"? I don't think so. Come on, the man is closer to 40 than 30, can we give him some credit for being an intelligent and responsible adult who knows how important it is to take care of his health? Can we trust that his food choices are balanced and healthy? Can we, in fact, actually compliment him (or me, I have no problem with that!) for being as fit as he was 12 years ago when he first got married, when today most of his contemporaries sport huge paunches and sky-rocketing levels of cholesterol?
Every time we visit family down south, I get this. S says I am highly insecure because no one is actually accusing me of anything. But -- here's the thing -- my silent enemy is the thrusting of extra food down the throat, the "paavom, evalavu olli-ya irukkaan" (Poor thing, see how thin he is), the solicitous enquiries about what are the contents of his daily lunch dabba, these implicit never said-aloud judgements of my (in)ability to ensure my husband's good health (read 'health' as per the Indian lexicon, people!!!). The fact is that S eats out a lot as part of his job (he does a lot of entertaining of teams that come down from the US/Europe) so he should actually be putting on weight. Isn't restaurant food on a regular basis supposed to make you fatter? He is also extremely conscious of what goes into his body, so he eats no junk/caffeine/sugar. And all this is my fault, how exactly? I'm actually very proud of his enormous self-control not to mention that he weighs a shade less than me :(
Don't even get me started on my kids. I can shout myself hoarse that both of them are currently at the ideal weight for their ages, and it would be as though I didn't say a word. "But you MUST do something about their diet".
Sigh. Time to give up. I'm going to go around making uncharitable comments on people's weight from now on. No, seriously, I'm gonna do it :)
Just for the record, I love the family, such as they are. Even when I am mentally bashing them up :)
LOL completely understand. Same happens here, when in my hubby's family people say all the boys in our family are so thin compared to their wives. I just get so irritated. Just leave people as they are right..
ReplyDeleteLOL! 'Time to give up. I'm going to go around making uncharitable comments on people's weight from now on. No, seriously, I'm gonna do it :)' - You should do it :) Go for it :)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha, i thought i was going to say a lot - but never mind :D
ReplyDelete:D behind every 'unhealthy' man there is a woman! :P
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I take no credit. I have a blanket ban on ghee/processed foods/coconut, in my kitchen - enforced by father and son!
Deleteaparana, i perfectly sympathise wit your plight and i guess its d plight of every woman in India, irrespective of whether its d south or north!!! Everytime i hear such comments passed, i just whisper to myself, "to each their own" an move on...
ReplyDeleteI read this a couple of days back, sorry been such a lurker lately it seems cos I'm reading late at night and don't have the energy to write a decent comment. But still, late and sleepy, I had such a good laugh at the way you've written this :) !!
ReplyDeleteI go through the similar comments with the children of course, so much that I have all kinds of witty retorts ready ;). But I cannot imagine what my reaction would be if hubby joined that list as well :O
You have a ban on ghee - *horrified look* - though hubby avoids it I need to have my ghee with paruppu for rice, and the kids too obviously!
Hi aparna, don't be too horrified. Ghee is banned by husband and advaith only for adults! The kids have lots of it and plain rice with ghee is a hot favourite here. I obviously need to stay away from it and sanjay is too health-conscious.
DeleteI wish u luck that ur husband never joins that list :)
Hey Aparna - I know the feeling. Esp wrt kids. I got so much of it when I went to India with KB.
ReplyDeleteAside from that - how on earth does your husband not take any caffeine/sugar or ghee?! Ghee OK, I can live w/out it. No coffee or no sugar in my tea. Oh man it is something I can only think of doing! Nothing beyond thoughts. I need my tea and need it with sugar. I so badly want to cut out all sugar just to see if I can do it. Seems so impossible. Ask him to do a gyan post on that! I don't care for sweets, don't eat junk food...but I need my tea to be sweeeet. I have a friend here who has minimal salt and no sugar. I envy these people for their self control. It's not even that she has any health problem - but because of her family health history, she is being careful.
Well he likes his ocassional chai - on weekends maybe - but he can live without it (I can't!). Sugar he cut many years ago and now its just a way of life. Yup he also doesn't have any health issues but just likes to be careful because of history of diabetes in the family. His weakness is bakshanams/savouries of all kinds, but even that he manages to control!!! Weird :))
DeleteHa ha ha. I used to get annoyed when people commented about how thin I was (Sigh, those were the days). Now I get worried when they compliment me on how healthy I look :)
ReplyDeleteOk - haven't seen you for years now - so can't comment on that :)
ReplyDeleteWow! Your husband seems to be a model of self-control. I can live without ghee, but just cannot imagine living without coffee/tea or sugar. :(
ReplyDeleteLOL - I know exactly what you mean. My hubby is thin too, while I am quite plumpy. In fact, he is the right weight for his height, and I need to lose weight. But then, there are always comments from relatives and well-wishers that I look so 'well-fed' and he looks 'thin'.
Doesn't help to explain that I need to lose weight, and that he is just fit. The hubby just grins as I fret over unsolicited comments, having the oodles of self-control that I have to struggle with. :(
I know...i can't do without my three cups of tea a day! I feel for you :))
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