S is away in India and I am handling the kids by myself for the last several days, with another week to go. I was terrified of this scenario. Countless questions spun around in my mind. How will I shower? How will I entertain the two? What do I do on weekends? What do I do for adult conversation? And so on.
It has been far easier than I envisaged. I realized that the fear of the unknown, untried and untested is so much more fearsome than the reality of the unknown. My fears turned out to be tissue-paper thin and after a few days, I found myself ridiculing the old me who made a mountain out of a molehill.
Yes it is hard to take a shower. Yes I long for a break, even one just long enough to eat one square meal in peace. Yes they both jump on me and whine and vie for attention at the same time. Yes it is incredibly hard to devote time to both, fulfil their different physical and emotional needs, keep the house clean(ish), do the laundry and the dishes and drive them around to school, library, park......the list goes on.
Thus, second important lesson learnt. Their behaviour mirrors mine. If I remain calm and in control, they stay calm and in control. I don't have the luxury of flying off the handle and losing it, because if I get mad at them, whom can they run to for support? At this point, I am the only parent they have. So I have to be good as gold. And you know what? They are being good as gold too. (Well, mostly....).
Playing Supermom has done wonders for my momfidence!