6570 days. Of loving safeguarding observing teaching listening and letting go.
Learning to be vigilantly nonchalant, lovingly tough, fearfully confident; never graduating to beyond the advanced beginner level. Parenting is full of oxymoronic situations!
As Advaith turns 18, I’ve been reflecting on how I (we) did. Did we equip him with everything he needs as he travels to college and beyond? Did we teach him to be independent but not be afraid to ask for help; to be confident but humble; to be kind and helpful but establish the right boundaries; to advocate for himself but spare a thought for others?
Suddenly, a lightbulb moment- how could I have missed this!
"Ads," - I yell - "do you know how to strike a match?"
My son looks at me with a resigned expression, which reads - What random question is this woman throwing at me now?
"Of course I know, Ma", he dismisses me.
"Ok, how?"
"I know it ok? You do the thing with the thingy."
"Can you come here and show me how you do the thing with the thingy please?" I insist.
"When am I ever going to use a match Ma?" He whines.
"I don't know, but please learn how to, right now."
Anyway, it’s clear he’s never used one before but after a couple of tries, he lights a match, throws it down in disgust, and walks off.
Mission accomplished!
Feeling ok with being looked down upon by one’s progeny - literally and figuratively - is also a key parenting skill!
As I keep reminding my kids - your brains aren't fully developed until you are 25. And I have a 30 years head start on you guys!
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